✨13✨ : Heartbreak

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"Why would he do that, he was engaged to me?" i ask, my voice starting to crack.

"Because my darling, he didn't love you, in fact, he hated you, he didn't think he could spend one day of his life with you, you were too fat for him, he was only looking for one thing to get rid of you, that's why once I broke up with him, he invented this lie of how he loved your sister when in reality, he'd rather spend his life with a pretty girl he could potentially fall in love with than one of you, whose presence he'd miss for the rest of his life, that's why I came to warn you, I feel bad, Esan if he married you now, It's not for the sake of love, no just to use and hurt you" she told me truthfully

I stepped back, shaking my head in denial" I... I... Don't... Believe...you..., go away... "I told her, refusing to believe that Esan could be like everyone else; he'd shown me that he was different.

"I knew that maybe you'd say that, that's why I planned it just in case," she said, handing me her phone.

I scrolled through the photos in her gallery, there were lots of younger ones of her and Esan, but the one that caught my eye was the one of their "3-month anniversary as a couple".

He... A lied to me... At this thought, I dropped his phone.

"Don't blame yourself, your only mistake is to have loved the one you should never have loved," she said with a falsely sympathetic air.

I pushed her arm off my shoulder, I didn't need her pity, if she'd come, it was with bad intent.

"Esan was just like them"
"He was disgusted by my body"
"He used me"
"He lied to me"
"He proposed to Nila when I was his fiancée"
"He married Sonia to get away from me"

I touched my throat, I felt suffocated, his thoughts asphyxiating him from the inside, I ran outside, I began to walk feeling a drop of water turn into a thousand small taste of water, the rain allowed me to cry and hide my tears, I let myself fall, unable to walk.

"WHY Allah, WHY Meee ?" I said desperately looking the dark blue sky

How could I have been so blind to believe it would be my love story, I'd been so stupid, I blamed myself, my feelings for him were even stronger, my heart hurt even more, it was breaking, to feel that for the second time, was impossible but knowing that, would only make him happier.

I let my cries answer each other, I just hoped to be loved, nothing more. "Samira..." I heard a voice I knew well beside me.

I looked up into his dark gray eyes, he'd got out of his car, and was looking at me with a worried, concerned look, he knew how to act very well.

He knelt down to my level, putting his hands on my cheek. "What are you doing out here all alone, especially in this rain? I was supposed to pick you up," Esan said in a tone that was half concern and half reprimand.

"When were you going to tell me?" I asked him, feeling anger welling up inside me.

I didn't want him to touch me after all, I was just trash to him, he shouldn't get dirty.

"Don't play innocent, were you going to tell me when you hated me, when you were like all those people only looking at my body?"

His face paled "Samira, I'm not like them" he told me seriously, I laughed sarcastically, even in moments like this, he looked sincere when in reality, he didn't give a damn.

"Is that why you lied to me about loving Sonia when you just wanted to break off our marriage? Is that why you asked for Nila's hand in marriage when you were already engaged to me?" I shouted angrily at him.

I grabbed him by the collar, "Answer me Esan, I want the truth, I want to hear it from you, not from Nila or anyone else, tell me if it's true or not," I forced him to choose.

He closed his eyes, and sighed, on her answer lies the choice of our future together, that is, if there's any future left for the two of us." It's true Samira, I did all that, I didn't love you, that night I lied to you, I just didn't want to marry you and Sonia was a good option, after Nila broke up with me" he said straight into my eyes without any trace of joking.

I let go of him, abruptly, starting to move forward, he caught me immediately, holding me tightly against him. "Samira, I know what you think of me, I know you're angry with me, but let me, let me explain, yes in the past, I've been a scumbag but now..." I cut him off right in the middle

"Now what, you're Prince Charming to me? No Esan, no matter what reasons you give me, I don't have the heart to listen to you anymore, I don't trust you anymore, when you asked me to stop our marriage, I did it so that you'd be happy but I was still heartbroken, today I'm heartbroken all over again, you want to give me hope once again, and break my heart a third time, I'm fed up, I'm not a puppet, I'm fat all right but I've got a heart too, I feel, I'm human, I had so much faith in you, I thought you were what I needed but you're how they are, you. .. I HATE YOU ESAN" I shouted at him, crying.

My every word had hurt him, but what about me? I wasn't insensitive either, "Don't say that Samira, please, I LOVE YOU" he wrote desperately, imploring me with his hands, tears also running down his eyes.

I looked at him for a moment, shocked by his words, did he love me? Me? I had no strength left, I didn't want to believe in anything." Esan, if you really want to make me happy, leave me right now, I need to be alone, in peace, and you're anything but my haven of peace, quite the opposite" I said curtly, distancing myself from him.

The last thing I heard was Esan shouting my name from a distance, and I felt my body collapse hard onto the wet ground.

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