Lost Star~Ateez OT8

Trembling Hands, Twinkling Eyes

I Can Never Get Out

Nyx POV

I opened my eyes and saw that I was in bed with Hongjoong. The rest of the guys weren’t in here anymore
*Where did they go?* My voice shaking
*They’re just practicing with Chan and the others baby, don’t worry*
I moved myself so I was laying fully on top of his body and his arms immediately went around my back pulling me closer to him, I had my hand resting on his chest. I guess I should get up instead of getting snuggled up into him. Callie is still out there and I have no idea how long I’ve been out for. 
I raised my head and looked into his eyes, gently running my hand through his hair, leaned down more and kissed him
*I think I should probably go back out there now. I feel bad because Callie is still here*
*Okay baby, whatever you want. But she’s here for you too, you don’t need to feel bad*
He sat up and had my legs on either side of him and he scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up, putting his hands under me on my ass and packed me back into the living room. And setting me down on the couch next to Callie, no one else in sight and Hongjoong went into the kitchen
*Hey babe you feeling better?*
*Callie I feel like fucking shit. My whole life is ptsd flashbacks, one of the guys always having to hold me to help me get through it. I’m such a fucking wreck. They honestly deserve someone so much better then me. What do I do* tears rushing down my face
*I know babe, I know. But you’re still going to start doing counseling right? And I'm sure theres something we can find for you to do while you’re at home to help bring some sort of comfort to your mind. Maybe we can go to the mall and see if we can find something, yeah? And Nyx, honestly. You’re so blind, you feel so guilty and bad for them having to take care of you that you don’t see it. Those guys would do anything for you, they’d jump in front of a bullet for you, I see nothing but love in their faces when they look at you. I know they just want to take care of you, they want you to be okay. They want to be the reason you’re happy. You're their whole world, I don’t have to ask any of them how they feel about you because I can just see it every time I’m with you guys*
I hung my head in defeat, putting my face in my hands and not looking at her, my breathing getting a little heavy and my eyes threatening to make tears start falling again. I can’t keep crying, I can’t feel so weak. I can’t let it take over me, but it is. It's enough to make me wish I wasn’t here anymore, to end it all.
I looked back at her and she had a warm smile on her face
*Yeah lets go to the mall, maybe I can find something I'll be able to do. Plus the guys will be training for awhile anyway. And I need to get a new dress and shoes because I'm going on a date tonight with Jongho*
I got up and went to Hongjoongs room and grabbed my phone, coming back into the living room I clicked the power button and saw that its already three in the afternoon. Just enough time to go shopping and then come home and get ready
*Ooooooh you have to tell me details when the date is over, you whore* we both burst into laughter and I lightly shoved her arm
*Slut, you have yet to tell me details about anything you’ve been up to with your guys, and don’t think I haven’t noticed the hickey peaking out from your shirt* I moved my hand and pulled her shirt down a little fully revealing her hickey and she quickly pushed my hand away and covering her hickey.
*Girl I have so much to tell you.... I got this last night. And after I'm done explaining that, you can tell me about the teeth marks all over your neck*
I moved my sweater enough to cover up my neck, my face going red. Hongjoong came back in the room with two glasses of orange juice for me and Callie
*Joongie we want to go shopping, I need to get a new outfit for tonight. Jongho is taking me out tonight* my face started going red
He came over to me and cupped my face with his hands and giving me a small kiss
*You’re so adorable when you get flustered baby*
If it were possible my face went even more red and I looked away from him but he only kissed me again
*Okay baby, just let me go change and I can take you both to the mall* he walked off to his room to change and callie stood up too and went to go find one of her guys. While she was doing that I got up myself and went and changed into some of my clothes