daisies // sasunaru

lilac

Or maybe he was going to think about his crush.

"Maybe I shouldn't have stormed out so fast," Naruto pondered aloud and slumped back onto the bed. "I should have at least let him explain..."

He thought for a moment, then furrowed his eyebrows. "But what was there to explain? He said he didn't see me as a boy or a girl. He's been lying to me this entire time. The whole reason I was drawn to him was because he accepted who I am. Our whole friendship was based on that and..."

"And..." The blond smothered his face with his hands. "and I threw it all away without a second thought. I suck."

He bit his quivering lip and tears emerged from his scrunched up eyes. Simply remembering what happened made him frustrated— the shattered look on the raven's face, his panicked eyes when he realized he offended Naruto, and his extended hand when the blond wandered away in despair. Why didn't Sasuke chase after him? Was he more than willing to let their friendship go just like that?

What hurt the blond more, aside from potentially ruining his only true friendship, was the fact that nobody saw him for who he was. Sasuke was the first, but if his acceptance was fabricated, what does that mean for Naruto's identity? If nobody believed that Naruto was a boy, could he even call himself a boy with confidence?

Naruto didn't consider himself insecure or anxious, but his identity relied heavily on the way people reacted to it. It's natural for the blond to seek validation amongst his friends and the general public. After all, how could he feel like a boy if nobody treated him like one?

"I sh-should have never gone to this stupid party..." he cried between sniffles and hiccups, warm tears flowing down his face.

None of this would have happened if Sakura didn't invite his crush to the party. Naruto would have never been convinced to wear a dress and he would have never had a confrontation with Sasuke. The blond knew he should've been glad to know about the raven's true feelings sooner but all he could feel was grief and disappointment.

Naruto swiped away the tears with his hand and closed his eyes, forcing the stream to cease. He tried to divert his mind from what happened and calm himself down. The blond recalled a strategy his father taught him when he was younger and needed to calm down: a body scan.

Naruto started at his feet. He focused on the feeling of the cold soles of his tight heeled shoes and how its cramp interior forced his toes together. He moved onto his legs, which felt smooth and sensitive on top of Lee's blue sheets since he recently shaved them. There was a cut at the back of his calf that didn't hurt but stung with the cool breeze.

He passed his thighs and moved up to his torso, which was incased in the silky velvet of the black dress. His stomach rubbed along the material as it rose and fell with his breath. The seam of his strapless bra stuck to his tan skin with the slight shimmer of sweat on his body. It pinched his armpits a little; the feeling was very uncomfortable, since Naruto didn't wear typical bras. He always rocked a sports bra or something elastic.

After finishing up with his bare collarbone and head resting on the pillow, the blond managed to calm himself down. He kept his eyes closed and felt his consciousness slowly slipping away. He floated into the dark abyss for a few minutes before a startling noise pulled him from the peace.

The blond shot up from the bed and gasped at the slam of the door against the wall. Two tipsy teenagers stumbled into the room and slammed against one of the walls, sucking each other's face like they were chewing the same piece of gum. The pair didn't even notice the boy just a few feet away from them.