When Two Become One (A Camren Fanfic)

Picking Up The Pieces

Lauren's POV

When morning finally did come it didn't hit me like the ton of bricks i had been dreading for the most part of that eventful evening. I can say with complete and utter surprise that i have never felt better, like all those thoughts that were buzzing around at once have finally dispersed, and that constant state of anxiousness has slowly slipped away. For once i can actually say the thought of waking up today didn't terrify me. I had a goal, a few theories and a feeling in my gut but deep down inside everything has just sort of become clear, the shroud of doubt and fear has slipped out of its emo phase long enough to see the sun shine. Speaking of a big ball of fire and warmth, the sight in front of me was killing me softly, not that i'm complaining. Yesterday is still a little sideways, but this, this is just so straightforward it hurts. After everything that was this roller coaster, Camila is just laying there like she's invincible to every negative force in the world and accepted the stress case that is me into her life. I was never ready to let her go, and i'm over the moon that she felt the same.

I've lived in the shadows of uncertainty for too long, good thing i have my own sun to shed some light on the situation. One thing i'm glad i do remember is the conversation Camila and I had before i decided to go on a spiral, her words resonating in my mind like a lighthouse drawing in ships from out at sea. Looking at it objectively, her explanation should have been enough, however i was not of sound mind and words are just that to a person who has given up all hope. However now that is not the case. I'm not saying one evening, drinking and a heart to heart have fixed everything but it must have done something because i feel like an absolute idiot. "I've got bipolar disorder, my shit's not in order" - it was either that or "you're hot then you're cold" either way they both sum up the general feeling. I have a bone or spinal column to pick with a certain group of girls, but there are a few other things i have to do first. At the top of that agenda is fffooooooddd... i swear to god i was drooling in my sleep dreaming about taco bell, i haven't eaten in at least 24 hours right? Either way it's something outrageous and no human being should be forced to go that long without a decent meal.

First obstacle of the day: To wake Camila or not to wake Camila? Everything seemed to be going smoothly last night, i mean we went to sleep on good terms so i don't want to do anything that could possibly ruin that. We're supposed to be re-building bridges not peeing on the ashes. It's 11:30 in the morning, should i be surprised she hasn't woken up already? Is she a deep sleeper? I'm not usually but give me a break I've had a rough couple of years... What have i got to lose right, worst case scenario - i wake her up, it's awkward, we exchange a few "how are you's?' crack a few jokes, and resolve our issues later. We'll go with that before i find some way to talk myself out of it. I'm pretty good at that. Here goes nothing... *sigh* please don't be mad, please don't be mad, just rip off the band aid, your reconciliation should have re-balanced the universe and karma and yin and yang and any other supernatural forces at work here.

'Camila?' i pose as more of a question, just in case she's already wake. When i get no response i try and sit my self up a little, attempting not to laugh when the head that was previously resting on my chest is now on my stomach. 'Camillaaaaaa' i sing quietly whilst tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear and brightening my view even more. She looked so snugly and adorkable donned in her banana pj's, a part of me just wants to stay here and hold her in my arms but i can't ignore the mountain of things i have to do, the problems and questions i have to solve and answer. I'm just one human being!!! Let me cuddle the golden ray of sunshine and leave me be. Okay one more time with feeling. 'Camz' I intended on nudging her shoulder, or shaking her petite frame into life but the second i reached for her my nudge turned into a soothing stroke along the length of her arm. Goddammit Lauren.I sighed loudly an collapsed back onto my pillow when i felt the weight shift on the bed and a tired looking Camila sat up. Really!? I call her name three times and nothing, but a huff of air and bam she's awake.