Astor // Arthur Shelby x Reader - Peaky Blinders

Chapter 56

Arthur's POV

The sound of a bell rings through the arena, signalling the start of the match. The intensity thickens in the air as the fighters take their positions, vibrations of excitement palpable through the floorboards.

"Who's your money on?" Astor asks.

Arthur exhales sharply, tipping back the whiskey in his hand. "Hard to say," he replies. "You never know who's got the fire in their belly until they step in the ring."

She nods, thoughtful. Maybe this is a bad idea, he thinks. Bad for her, to be in a place like this. Bad for him to torture himself by being in her presence. She doesn't remember him. Doesn't remember anything they endured together.

But there's hope. They way she held him when they were on the farm last. The fact she ordered a drink of whiskey...

He glances at her, for the first time in his life, too distracted to focus on the boxers fighting in the ring. Her eyes are lit up in wonder, and she lets out an astonished laugh as the blows begin to land, bringing her hands to her mouth. Her eyes crease as she smiles.

If she only knew. He gets the sense she doesn't remember much of those early days after the asylum. Staying at Polly's, with his aunt holding back her hair and rubbing her back as she threw her guts up after every meal. Healing her back to health. Ada had to stay away in those days — if Astor saw her, she'd begin to scream, terrified it was a nurse from the place coming back to get her. It ripped him apart to hear it, ripped him apart even further when he'd try to comfort her, try to approach her, and she'd push him away in fear.

Arthur and his brothers quickly got busy finding the best private doctors to work from Sotheby, and thoroughly vetting them — by making it clear what state their bodies would be in if they tried to pull anything the slightest bit below board. Tracking down the people who used to work at the House before Luca fired them all, the ones still loyal to her. When Lucille heard everything that had happened, she quit her job as a cook in the Prime Minister's office and moved back in the very next day.

Arthur left Tommy to handle Pauline. He figured his brother had the best chance of diffusing the situation. And after inviting her round for tea at May Carleton's, Pauline returned three hours later crying her eyes out, handing Arthur all the letters Astor had asked her to keep hold of. Asking to see her, to help in any way she could. Practically threw herself down at Arthur's feet and apologised.

It would never be enough, in his book, to make up for all the pain she'd caused his girl. But that was a decision Astor needed to make. When she's ready.

And he fucking hopes she'll get there. He knows she will. When Tommy and John had taken him out for a drink a couple weeks prior, they'd found a nice group of women. One of them seemed fond of Arthur, and his brothers tried to suggest he go back home with her. Take his mind off things.

Apparently, he's now banned from the pub after throwing a table through the window. Took John the better part of a week to forgive him for ruining his own chances with the women.

Above all else, he had not expected Astor to work on the farm with him.

He'd had every horse of hers taken back to her stables, and the trainers and stable hands with them, to keep them going for the races. Help bring income to the estate. He thought she could see them, could even ride her own again. The doctors said it might be months before she would feel brave enough, but he didn't care.

He'd do everything in his power to make sure she's provided for. Even — and it almost killed him to think it — even if she wants no part of him in her life. If she never remembers. He owes it to her to at least make sure she can live a good life. Just the farm, he told himself. Just get that going for her. Then he'd bugger off if she wanted him to.