Astor // Arthur Shelby x Reader - Peaky Blinders

Chapter 38

"A minor concussion," the doctor concludes, removing the light from my eyes and scribbling onto a notepad. "Avoid exercise or further blows to the head for the next few days. Bed rest."

"Not bloody likely," I mutter, relieved and less dizzy as I stand to my feet from the chair.

"Thank you for seeing us at such short notice," Tommy says, leaving a small pile of banknotes beside the front door of the doctor's home.

The doctor cleans the graze on my head and then I'm finally free to go. Night has fallen now, the sky dark and sparkling with stars. The street lamps have been lit, providing us with a soft glow as we walk to the car.

Arthur's not once left my side.

"You know the way to May's," he tells Tommy as we get into the back seat of the car. "Keep going a little further south. Driveway might be harder to find in the dark."

"I'll be able to point it out," I say.

Arthur pulls me against his chest. "You're meant to be resting."

I frown. "It's hardly strenuous looking out a car window."

"More strenuous than I'll bloody allow."

"What about after that hand grenade went off in Egypt, eh?" John says from the front seat. "You couldn't fucking see for two days Arthur, still you were shooting into no-man's-land and hoping a bullet might hit a mark."

"You didn't tell me about that," I say.

John chortles. "What else haven't you told her about, eh?"

"Beginning to regret ever introducing you," Arthur mutters.

Against my will, my eyelids grow heavy as I rest against Arthur's chest. I wrap my arms around him and do not wake up until the car begins to bump and rattle around, jerking me upright.

"Hope this is the right bloody driveway," Tommy mutters. "There's every chance we'll have a farmer jump out at us with a shotgun."

I squint, trying to make out the shape of the trees beside us. "This is it."

I feel my heartbeat in my throat as we turn the final bend in the driveway. I pray Luca has not sent more men here, pray nobody came snooping in my absence and stumbled across Angel Changretta's body.

But everything's as we found it. Angel's car, still with the door ajar. The house itself is dark. Silent. There's only one room with a lamp on, barely visible through a crack in the curtains.

"Where's this body?" Tommy asks as we get out the car.

"Down the hallway."

We step through the front door. The blood has dried on the tiles.

"Fucking hell," John says in a low voice.

"We'll sort the body out first," Tommy says.

"I can clean all this," I say.

But Arthur shakes his head. "You need to rest."

"It's only a headache," I protest.

He takes me by the shoulders. "Into bed. I'll be up shortly."

I stare at the smeared crimson across the floor. "It cannot wait until morning. I'll do it now."

"Sweetheart, have you ever scrubbed blood from tiled floors before?"

I bristle, reading an insult into his words. "Excuse me?"

But he rubs my shoulders reassuringly. "This type of cleaning has to be done a certain way. Normally we'd have men do it for us, but..."

"But we want this kept a bloody secret," Tommy finishes as he lights a cigarette. "So let's be quick with it, eh?"

"Fine," I concede. "I'll choose a novel to read in bed."

Arthur looks as though he wants to even argue with that, but laments, nodding and kissing me softly. "I'll be up soon."

I turn and head into the sitting room, where I have a pile of my favourite books. The lamp's already lit, and I'm grateful as I open the door.

Then I freeze in terror.

"Pauline."

She's sat in the armchair, curled up like a cat with red-ringed eyes. She straightens at the sight of me.

"Astor," she whispers. "You're... you're back."

"I live here," I say pointedly.

"Yes. I know. I..." She gulps, looking as though she might burst into tears, as though she's been crying all day. "You haven't told Luca, have you?"

"Of course not. He's still on the ship, he won't even be able to call for a couple more days."

Pauline nods, exhaling shakily. "Okay. Good. And... then..."

I walk into the room, sinking slowly into the pale blue settee in front of her. "You're far more at risk of telling him than I am, Pauline."

Tears burn in her eyes as she shakes her head vehemently. "I won't. If he knows, if he gets angry..."

"He'll have me killed," I finish quietly.

"I don't want you hurt, Astor," she sobs. "I'm so sorry. For all of this. I never expected... Astor, I'm so scared."

"You never told me you love him. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it's ridiculous." She sniffs, wipes her eyes. "Look at me. I'm the help. Men like Luca don't fall in love with me. It's embarrassing to even say it."

"Pauline..." I bite my lip, fighting against the ache continuing to blossom through my head to find the words. "He tied you up and left you in the storeroom. Yes, to teach me a lesson," I add somewhat impatiently as she opens her mouth, "But I cannot be held responsible for his actions. I have every right to decide who I do or don't marry. Or should, at least. You saw what he did to Bernice. What he threatened me with. That's not the reality of his world, Pauline, that's cruelty. That's a need to have people obey at any cost. What will you do when he's threatening you, or your child, like that?"

She stares into space for a long while before answering. "I don't know."

"You think he won't hurt you because you'll always obey, always placate. But children do neither. Luca won't just spank them, Pauline, he'll... What if he strangles their dogs?"

She holds her head in her hands. "I don't know."

We sit in silence for a moment. I'm ready to pick up my book and retire to bed — now even looking forward to the rest Arthur kept threatening me with — when she speaks again.

"Lucille left. True to her word. She left, and I hurt you, and now I... I have nobody. She said Luca will never admit to me or our child, not while he's married to you, but I thought his mother seems so kind, perhaps if I went to see her she might understand. She might help me financially."

I stand to my feet. "I cannot control what you do, Pauline. And I'm hurt by this more than I can tell you. But I think it may be in both our best interests to simply continue as though nothing has gone awry. You'll have enough work managing this house alone to keep you busy, and earn you a good wage. Save up for your child. Say nothing to anybody. Do not breathe a word about Angel, and I... I will behave for Luca. Do we have an agreement?"

She considers for a moment, and then nods.

"Not that I trust you anymore," I add, immediately regretting it as her face begins to crumple once more.

"I love him," she whispers. "And you're my best friend. I love him just as much as you love Arthur Shelby. Can you not try to understand?"

"No," I say. "But I can try to be fair. Take the spare car home if you must. Oh," I add, pausing before I leave. "And if you betray me again, I don't care how many babies he's put in you, I will hang you out to dry and leave you completely at his mercy. Is that understood?"

Her face crumples, but she nods.

"Good." I stop at the door. "Goodnight, Pauline."