♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : nineteenth april, 23 :;
I'VE GOT the upper body strength of a shell-less tortoise. So I didn't tackle the owner of the strange voice to the ground, in self defence or whatever.
How would I? After my mini panic attack, I noticed the source of the ominous promise hovered around my knees. In the form of pink fog. Eerie.
I have seen enough horror movies to know the "who are you" never works out. No ghost wants to introduce themself. Introductions are fucking annoying. Imagine you're haunting a castle for three hundred years or so and then you get a bunch of trespassers and boom! They think they own this place now, all because you lost your physical body and everything.
Fucking menace.
I did the next best thing.
I ducked and quickly got on all fours, eventually crouching down under a table.
"I'm not an earthquake you know?"
"Well. Are you the new security system?"
"What?"
"Are you AI or something?"
"I-"
"This is my mom's clinic. Mind you, if anything happens to her, I inherit this. So I'm your partial owner and everything. If you zap me, I'll uninstall you."
"Uh... Okay." The voice says, somewhat uneasy.
"I promise I'm only here to help."
"That's what they say. Your robot troops." I fail to hide my disgust. "Y'all want us to serve you back. You want slavery back! You want to get even, for wasting electricity, for blowing your motherboard-"
They cut me off, "Oh my God."
I'm puzzled. This machine is the shit. Never have I ever in my goddamn life felt so understood. "What's your name?"
"So you can get me arrested? Paranoid bastard."
I chuckled. In spite of everything. "I'm Everett Evers, by the way." Slowly I do my unboxing. First my feet, then my shoulders, finally my face. "Why are you so... Distorted?"
"Hi, Everett." They say. "This is I, the sailor of time."
"Like Sindbad?"
"How much media do you consume in a regular day?"
"Not enough," I say honestly.
"I'm the mover of the universe. I, the magic spirit. Hello."
"Want me to bow or something?"
"It's fine," they respond, not unkindly. "So what do you say? How about we make the world a better place? How'd you feel about becoming a magic user? What do you say, pal?"
Oh fuck no.
Just when I thought I found a new friend, this happens.
*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*
he's so paranoid and cynical hehe
— ori
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
the vampire of happiness
हास्य-विनोदEverett Evers is invincible. Magic runs in his family. With that knowledge, he can reverse time. The power source? People's happiness. gorgeous cover by @caramelgiggles
