Outcast. (A Sonic Story)

Realization.

So like a massive heads up; This has angsty, anxiety, and slight self-harm(the equivilent of pulling hair). I also like abandoned this chapter for a few weeks in the middle of it so it may have a really weird cut in the writing. Enjoy!

<Sonic's POV>
I blushed at him. Why did I blush at him?! I've never liked anyone before, I mean grantit I've never actually met anyone other than Tails before all of this but still! I groan at the thoughts going through my head, and lean back against the wall of my homey thingy.

That whole incident with me falling asleep on Shadow was a few hours ago and I couldn't stop thinking about it! It's not like I could like him.. Right?! There's absolutely no way!!
My thoughts kept spiraling into one answer everytime I tried to convince myself otherwise; I. Like. Him. But I can't!! There's no way I like ANYONE! Let alone Shadow! He kidnapped me for fuck's sake, but.. Ugh!

I ended up being curled in a tight ball because my thoughts wouldn't leave me alone when Tails walked in, I wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for the fact that he wasn't trying to be quiet about it. I didn't move though, my thoughts were being so annoying. I heard him stop right next to me, and sit down.

"Sonic? Are you doing okay? You look.. Uhm." I only nodded, I knew he was probably going to say something that wasn't very positive. I didn't want to hear how bad I looked because of an internal crisis that's happening because of some annoying feelings. NO! They aren't true feelings, it's some kind of delusion.

"Do you need something, bud?" He's staring at me, I know he is. Even though his staring was kind of creepy I didn't use any kind of weird tone, just my usual one that I use for him.

"I was just coming out here to ask if you wanted to move in with me?" I sighed, it's not that I wouldn't like that, but I don't want to leave my–I still don't have a name for it–I've spent basically my entire life here after all.

"I'm gonna need a bit to take in that I'm actually leaving–" I gesture to the entire room "–this." I still can't really process it, plus the entire situation about Shadow! I sigh. Tails nodded and left after a moment, probably seeing that I needed to be alone.

I can't seem to take anything in, moving from this place, and liking Shadow is just so much for only two thoughts! I mean, does he even like me back?! He kidnapped me when we first met, wouldn't that just be like a massive billboard screaming 'NO!' in your face?! And leaving this place that I worked so hard to make like a home for so long! That would also mean leaving my animal friends.

I curled back into my tight ball, purely because I can't control my thoughts to save my life at the moment. Everything is happening so fast, even if I'm fast that's only with running! If only I could keep up with my running thoughts as easy as I could if I was the one running and not them. What am I supposed to do with myself after all of this anyway?! I wanted to just scream but if Tails was still nearby he might come running.

I gripped at my quills tightly and tried my best not to pull at them since they weren't the least sensitive things in the world but I failed terribly. My thoughts only kept spiraling, and the pain from my quills was adding more and more to the mix. I began to tear up,

Tears ran down my face, wetting my muzzle with my emotions that had been piling up on me for the past few days. I was crying over things that are so stupid. My quiet sobs didn't sound out too far luckily since it's a hit or miss anymore if someone is walking out here. Between Tails and Shadow I don't know if they're outside my door, and the thing about Shadow is I can just barely hear him coming. If he shows up now, I won't be able to hear him over my quiet sobs.

Just to my luck lately, I felt someone bring me into a surprisingly gentle embrace. I immediately knew who it was, Shadow, what's the chance?! As much as I wanted to push him away and be alone, I couldn't bring myself to. I found myself hugging him back, my now almost soaked face making it's way to his shoulder.

I kept sobbing, my whimpers not getting any louder then they were before. The entire time Shadow didn't say anything, he only held me and made sure I didn't tug at my quills again after I did it once when he got here.(Boyfriend material I swear). I quickly realized I didn't want him to let me go, I didn't want to leave his touch. It was a comforting feeling and I never wanted it to end.

After what felt like an eternity and then some I finally calmed down. He was still quiet, and made sure to not make a wrong move the entire time, I appreciated that. I took to notice that he wasn't making a move to let go as if he were waiting for me to assure him that I was fully okay now. The only problem with that is the fact that I don't know if I'm truly okay yet.

"Are you going to be alright if I let go?" His voice was soft for what it usually is. I was surprised that I was correct in the reason he didn't let go yet. I hesitated for a moment to answer, would be upset with me if I said no?

"I.. I don't know." God damnit! What kind of answer is that? It was a yes or no question. To my surprise he nodded, and rested his head on my own. It was.. comforting. How is he being so patient about this? He barely met me a few weeks ago under horrible circumstances and now he's comforting me during a breakdown. Is that what it's called?

I hope ya'll enjoyed this rant-like chapter that took way too long to write for the sake of how bad it is. Although the fact that I got broken up with a few hours before writing it may explain that part. Sorry if there are any gramatical or spelling errors! Byeeeee babes! <3

(I'M BACK BITCHES!)