The Carmen Chronicles: Rebirth

Chapter 11: A New Bloom

Two weeks had passed since my dinner with John and Mary, and my mind had not stopped racing since. What would become of my existence, if I chose to serve a family of humans? Was this, possibly, the reason I had been created? Was it possible that Mary could see who I really was, see beyond the monster? The questions were unending, my doubt and self-hatred only escalated the anxiety I felt at the situation. The husband...John, he did not exactly seemed thrilled to welcome me into his home. After checking me for signs of disease multiple times, he still knew something was different. Day turned into night, and I had not moved at all. I remained motionless, a frozen statue seated in a dark cave, my eyes wide and unblinking, staring into nothingness...But my mind did not stop, not even for a moment. I considered every single possibility I could think of, all the ways I could bring harm to this family without meaning to, all the circumstances that would bring about their deaths by my hand, and why the best thing for me to do would be to leave them and never return. But no, leaving them, leaving little Emily. It felt...Wrong. Perhaps it was my own desperation that encouraged me to stay, I finally had a second chance at a family. Granted, Emily was not my child, but she seemed entirely unafraid of me. Mary, her mother, seemed unafraid. If anything, she seemed afraid I would reject her help. It was well after midnight when the bats flew in, seeking shelter in my cave, I supposed they had hoped I would no longer be here. But upon seeing me, their tiny hearts fluttered even faster as they turned and flew out as fast as they could. This time, I did not react. I was fast getting used to animals running from me in terror. Was this truly my fate, I succumbed to the invisible flames of hell for this? To be the undead thing every living creature flees from? Now there was a possibility of a different life with Emily's family, perhaps in the years to come, even her father would warm up to me. My deep thinking continued as the dawn began to break, I barely noticed the passing of time as I continued to try and predict my future. Perhaps I could act as some sort of guardian to this family, I could watch over Emily as she grows, maybe even her own children when the time comes. It would give me purpose, a meaning to this never-ending life I had now been gifted with.

*

As another sunny day drew to a close and the light of the full moon illuminated the entrance of my cave, I finally stood and ran outside into the night. The chatter of the villagers was more subdued this evening, replaced instead by the sounds of deep breathing and snoring from multiple homes. I slowed my run to a walk as I silently made my way through the village. It was an odd feeling, I now had a new appreciation for the night, something which used to terrify me was now an ally. When the sun was faded, I could be myself, and had no trouble in detecting the presence of a human close by with my acute senses. I had no need to cover my body in several layers of clothing so the sun did not reveal my true nature. It was no longer necessary to shield the humans from my crimson eyes with my tinted spectacles. I was, in a very small way, free. Walking through the deserted marketplace, the burn in my throat became more pronounced as I practiced the exercise of breathing. Everything around me was covered in the scent of the villagers. Everything they touched, the wooden stalls they stood close to, I could taste it all on my tongue like an incense burning strongly in the air. I had been turned a number of years ago now, and although I had been given no guide whatsoever as to when my thirst would be easier to control, I half-expected the constant burn to subside after twelve months, at least. My reality was quite different. The burn was always there, even in my earlier days when I would feed from hundreds of people until I felt ready to burst, the fire in my throat remained. It was a dark and torturous reminder of my own transformation. Out of habit, I raised a hand to my throat and rubbed it, a pathetic effort to dull the flames. Desperate for a distraction, I thought back to the glass I accidentally shattered during my meal with John and Mary. She had only purchased the glasses at the markets last week. I said I would repay her, and now realised how foolish it was to say such a thing. How could I possibly repay this family? I had no money. Such a thing was not exactly a necessity for an immortal who had no home and no use for human food. That left me with one option: thievery. Immediate reluctance rose within me as I recalled the laws of God: stealing was a sin. And suddenly, I realised how ridiculous it was to even think of such a thing.