imagines shit (Sebastian's version)

S.S || Bad days

Y/n has depression. She used to had it real bad but now she's on pills and she's okay. But sometime she has bad days where she feels under the weather and sad for almost no reason. Sebastian has to help her to not get dragged into her old SH habits.

Warnings: sh, depression, rape, sa. CPTSD (check before reading if you don't know what it is)

Word count: 940

Y/n's pov:

It has hard to be with depression. But it is harder to feel better with depression but then one day wake up to feelings like you're drowning in emotions for no reason.

Today I woke up and I sighed. I felt like shit and I knew what it meant. It's one of those days.

I didn't move. Sebastian was hugging my waits from my back and softly snoring.

I stared at the floor and hoped that maybe it's just because I had a small nightmare that night.

I still felt like shit.

"Hey, baby" Sebastian's raspy voice came from behind me. "I'm going to the bathroom" I got up and didn't look bad.

I wanted to be with him and cuddle with him for a longer time, but, I couldn't. I felt too... numb to do that.

During getting ready for nothing I heard a knock on the door. It must've been sebastian, wanting to know if I was mad or just one of those days.

"Baby? Do you want to go to Starbucks with me today?" I wanted to go to Starbucks but not with him. I didn't have power for him in that moment.

"I'll go alone" i heard him sigh. "Okay baby, if you change your mind call me" I wasn't planning to.

I got out of the bathroom and started to get ready for my random Starbucks trip.

I put on normal black pants and a big white shirt. I brushed my hair real quick, put my Jordan's on and went to my car.

I didn't even say goodbye to Sebastian. I just left.

I arrived to the local Starbucks and got my normal order plus two muffins because I was a little hungry.

I got a text message from Sebastian throughout watching YouTube's.

Love <3: hello princess I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to the movies with me tonight?

Me: Idk
Me: we'll see

He sent another message but I wasn't feelings like answering.

I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't want to have the trauma I had.

It was all Dylan's fault. Dylan raped me two years ago. I started to self harm myself till my father noticed and got me into therapy.

I was finally okay till I was also diagnosed CPTSD. Then my life fell apart again. I started to fall back to my old habits and my family had to drag me up again.

I didn't want to have Sebastian having to pull me up again.

Sebastian's pov:

I didn't know what to do. I've been with Y/n for a long time but I was never there when she had those days because we moved in together just a month ago.

When these happened before she just told me she couldn't talk that day and that she was busy.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help her. I called her father and he told me to just be with her even if we won't say anything, just to make sure she didn't hurt herself.

And that's what I was planning to do.

I called her and she finally answers after at least 7 beeps. "What do you want?" She spines cold and not like my y/n.

But that was just because of her CPTSD.

"Come home. I want you here right now" her dad also told me I have to be dominant with her so she won't do anything wrong.

"Who are you my dad? You can suck my dick Sebastian-" "finish that sentence and ill fucking come to Starbucks make a whole scene and then pick you, put you in my car and drive you home" I didn't like how I sounded. I sounded so toxic and possessive and it just grossed me.

"Fine" she hung up. Well that worked I guessed.

After a painful 30 minutes she finally arrived home. "Where the hell were you?" I asked her and I started to explore her hands to see if she has any blood there.

There wasn't.

"At Starbucks. Traffic" she replied coldly. She started going to our guest room but i gently grabbed her hand.

"No, you're going with me" she didn't object and came with me to our room. "Put on your pjs or I'll put them for you" I said.

I noticed that she didn't take her antidepressant today. "I'm going to get you you're meds, stay here"

When I was back she was dressed in her pjs and waiting for me. "Good now take one please"

She took it and drank the water I gave her. "Lay down" she laid. "Great, now I'm going to cuddle you until you sleep because you had a nightmare today and you're feeling under the weather. No objections" I laid with her and I gently but forcefully put her head on my chest.

"Listen, you're going to have bad days. And till today you dealt with it alone. But no more, my love. I'm going to be with you every step of the way, even if you insult me, hit me, bite me, I'm always going to be there"