Itch I Can't Scratch

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The next few weeks pass in a blur of work, travel, sleep and partying

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The next few weeks pass in a blur of work, travel, sleep and partying. And Max. Lots of Max.

And no Alonso. It was a one time thing I haven't even had the heart to tell the girls yet, for risk of someone overhearing. That night with him awakened something new I haven't felt in years. A deep sexual desire, a burning for more.

For passion.

For Max.

He's like an itch I can't scratch.

I'm not sure how it happened, but I know I want Max. Maybe it was the kiss, maybe it was the night we meet. Maybe it's the distance in my own relationship. Maybe it's that I haven't had sex since before I came to Monaco... Maybe it was sharing all my feelings with him. Maybe it's the way he makes me feel seen.

Maybe it's all of it.

Either way it scares the absolute shit out of me.

I'm putting off thinking it through until I can handle things with Chad, which is taking bloody ages.

There's a whole week before the Monaco Grand Prix, but you wouldn't know it by the crowds.

The city is teeming with formula drivers and teams, everyone flocking here for a little time under the sun before we get to work.

Monaco starts with a boat party hosted by Charles and Amelia before the week kicks off. This party is swimming with business contacts, celebs and the whose who of the racing world. Everyone is mingling and frankly, my heart isn't in it.

The only place I want to be tonight is in bed writing, alone.

Yet duty calls.

So I'm here, avoiding my dad best I can. In an effort to not get pulled into another hour long business chat I make my way to the tip top of the boat, where I can tell someone is smoking.

I'd give my left arm for a cig right now, so let's hope they feel like sharing.

Bounding up the stairs, I find myself face to face with the spaniard I spent the evening with. "Surprise seeing you here"

He steps closer to me with that same sly smile, "Yet somehow you keep finding me."

"Only because I'm looking for the cigarettes." I tease him.

He cocks an eyebrow and his eyes twinkle just enough to say he doesn't believe me. "Lots of stores sell these you know," He gives me a hard time but passes the cigarette nonetheless, this time running it against my lips to wet it.

Fucking hell, the man oozes sex appeal.

"Somehow I keep stealing them from a millionaire instead."

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