sweet apocalypse ✧ reddie [completed]

he doesn't want to love me back [13]

.・゜゜・　age ~ 15-16 (1999) 　・゜゜・．

•·.·''·.·• your lips my lips
apocalypse •·.·''·.·

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

17TH MARCH, 1999 ~ EDDIE'S POV (KINDA)

what was i thinking? wishing i could kiss richard fucking tozier? stupid

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

eddie sprinted. he needed to get out of here as fast as possible. 

he ran, ran to bill and stan's room. he just kept running. he fucked up.

every time eddie sees him he feels butterflies in his stomach calm down, because he feels so comfortable around him. it's no longer just a crush, everything richie does makes eddie feel so special. and eddie could never hate him, there is nothing that richie could do to hate him. he could break my heart and i'd still go back to him. any fucking day of the week. in a broken heartbeat. 

eddie knocked on their door once. twice. three times. no response. he gave up. he can't go back to his room, what if richie's still there? he walked over to ben and mike's room, and knocked once. no response. he just gave up. he slowly walked around, maybe i'll head down to the hotel foyer? 

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

eddie sat in the foyer, flipping through magazines that had been left on top of tables. he'd been sitting there only for a few minutes, until he heard the shuffling footsteps of someone, and a very familiar voice. 

"rich, talk to me." bev whispered to richie. "please." 

eddie jumped up, running to hide behind a pole. he watched, almost trembling from the fear and the coldness, as they sat down, and left eddie standing in the distance listening to everything they were saying.

"are you trying to say- you like boys, too? like- like bisexual?" bev whispered back into the silence. for a moment richie just stared at her. holy shit, richie likes boys too? fuck fuck fuck!

"you can ask your questions." he whispered. eddie could feel the pain behind his voice.

"what made you realise?" that's a fucking fair question. what made him realize?

"i dunno. i've only come to terms with it recently."

"fuck. that's a lie. eddie. the moment i saw him, i felt an attraction to him, and it wasn't the first time i'd felt an attraction to a boy, but it was the first time i acknowledged it. and today, we nearly kissed, but he ran away and i knew, if he did kiss me, i'd lose my mind. i'd go fucking crazy. i wouldn't be able to control myself, and i thought, if i didn't kiss him first i'd go nuts, but if i did he would hate me, but-but then he- he ran away!. bev, i don't know what to do, i don't want to fall in love with him if he wouldn't be able to love me back, do you know what he told me once, 'i would never love boys'! and honestly, i cried all night that night. but bev, i want to fall for betty, i really want to and i don't know what to do! please, please tell me you can help."

me? 

i didn't know he felt that way. all eddie wanted to do was go up to richie and kiss him. but he didn't want to love him. he wanted to love betty. stupid stupid stupid! why'd i tell him i don't like boys! now richie wanted to stop loving him and fall for betty. eddie could feel the tears stinging his eyes. let them fall eddie. no one can see you.

richie was sobbing at this point. hotel workers were staring. bev didn't say anything. she pulled him back into the hug, letting him wet her pink pyjama top with tears on her shoulder.

"i love you richie, you're my best friend, and i would do anything for eddie to love you back. but i can promise you now, he is definitely interested in boys. you should see the way he looks at you." richie shook his head.

"now, lets get you to sleep, trashmouth." bev smiled and took richie by the hand, attempting to see through the dark as they made their way to the rooms. 

but he heard richie say one more thing.

"but i don't want to love him if he won't love me back." 

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

a/n: so what's ur fav movie guys

btw if there are any mistakes pls let me lol these are barely proof read