Chapter 45

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Nicola's POV

Arrogant prick! I thought as I pushed his hand away, standing up to my full height to glare up at him.

"What do you mean I can't! Look, I love you for loving Sarah so much. For believing that you can not love anyone after her. She is my sister, and I love you for your devotion." I told him as he raised a brow at me. But I continued.

"But please don't tell me that I can't fall in love again. That I will live my life in what ifs. You and I are different. Our circumstances are different. You got to live with the woman you fell in love with. She didn't leave by choice, and she loved you very much.

I, on the other hand, fell in love with a man who didn't love me back." He looked at me with annoyance, and I rolled my eyes at him. What? Is it some big secret that should not be spoken out loud?

"So there is no what-ifs for me." I continued. "I just choose to stop waiting for a man who is never gonna want me and choose to be with the man who does. I choose to start living my life. If I wait for you, I will probably die waiting." I exclaimed finally.

He stood there silent for a moment before he nodded. Which made my heart sink even farther. I guess I had still been hoping that he would want me. I looked down to hide my disappointment.

"So you chose to forget what I told you six months ago." He spoke after some time, which made me raise my head and look at him in confusion. "And you choose to act like you have no idea what you do to me?" He asked as I stared at him bewildered, making him continue.

"Less then five minutes ago I almost lost control and was about to fuck you right there in the hallway, and the only thing that brought me back to sanity was the fact that you were a virgin. Otherwise, I would be fucking you right now after I dragged you here. And you are telling me I feel nothing for you!" He exclaimed.

My jaw dropped in shock at his revelation. My cheeks flushed as I remembered what had happened in the hallway. How readily I had kissed him and how I had rubbed myself against his torso.

And then I realised, it was him who started kissing me. He had always been the one who started it all. What I felt for him, he already new. I had never denied it but it had always been him who initiated any physical activity between us. Doubts started forming in my head as I looked at him.

I narrowed my eyes at him waiting for him to continue. He was staring back at me sadly, and for the first time I took a really good look at him and noticed what I hadn't before.

He looked exhausted. His eyes had the look of a man who had been in a battle and was defeated. He had lost so much weight too. My heart went out to him.

I couldn't help covering the distance between us, raising my hand hesitantly to place it on his cheek.

He closed his eyes, covering my hand with his and he leaned into my touch. My eyes softened as I looked at his tired face.

"I told you I loved you." He whispered. Surprised, I stepped back pulling my hand with me.

He opened his eyes and looked at me sadly.

"I told you that, before you left me in North Carolina six months ago." I shook my head in denial, even though I remember him saying it. It's just too hard to believe.

He just sighed and continued as he looked away from me. He was staring into the distance his eyes taking a far away look.

"It's just that I hadn't known that I had always been in love with you." My jaw almost fell to the groud in shock.

What the hell! What is he saying? How can he say that to me after being married to my sister for six years. After telling me that he didn't share my feelings and that he had always wanted her. My blood boiled in anger as I glared at him accusingly.

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