Falling Again || bnha

Love is everywhere.

   "What are you apologizing for, Seth," I grabbed a warm cup from the waitress when Heaven is cold, it's because something happened.

   "Because you got out of your home and who knows what your mom will ask you to do" I looked up to him, every time I asked to go out, it was like a favor to my mom, and I would do anything she'd ask because I owed her. 

    I already knew what she'd ask me "Don't worry about it" Go be a little pawn at the war. Nothing unusual. He met my eyes for the first time, his eyes almost seemed to beg me for an answer "Don't worry about him" I already knew it was about his father and what he'd probably do.

    "Focus on the now," I pushed his frappe close to him, only he would order something so cold in this weather "Your frappe is getting...colder, I guess"

The moment you helped the angel, 

The moment you spoke softer,

The moment you chose to be kind,

That was the moment that tragedy was meant for you.

It's not your fault to try to become what you admire.

    "Who are you?" A bloodied enemy managed to choke out as they lay under your foot, your sword was seconds away from slashing the skin. You spoke your surname as if the blood in your hands could transfer to someone else.

     You killed it. Looking up, you wondered how many you had to kill so you could go home. I wonder why I refer to myself as "you", maybe it's to dissociate from it all?

    I killed it. This sounds bitter. It sounds sad. Vengeful maybe.

   You killed it. This sounds like it's your fault. 

   "Thank you for your service." I stood beside my brothers as we received our medals of honor. Just as the medal givers went away, Caedes, my middle brother, ripped the medal from his coat, his eyes seemed to burn the symbol on his hands.

   "I don't like this." Atrox, the oldest of us, looked to the side as he spoke.

   "I hate this"

   "I loathe this" We all still remained in our positions as I spoke.

   "This is hell" Our eyes were dark as Caedes spoke again.

   "Hell is nothing compared to this" Atrox spoke, and as we spoke our usual loathe for war, I was glad I was not alone.

If there is a word that is spoken more than the word "hate" in war,

It's the word "love".

   When both your brothers lay on the battlefield, miles away from one another, you couldn't decide which one you would choose to hear the last breath. All you could do was carry one and lay them beside each other.

  You couldn't cry, no, you couldn't cry. 

 Siblings are like people who, all their life, wish for death, but when in reality you couldn't wish for more life. There was this heavy feeling in your heart and when Atrox's tear seemed to touch the ground, there was this heavy feeling in your gut. I don't think you'd have ever seen your brother cry before you.

   You couldn't cry, stop it, don't cry.

   They weren't the siblings you'd wish for, but they were the only ones you needed. When you felt Caedes hand soften your grip, a paradise for gods never felt so fake and you found yourself gripping his hands harder as if that would bring him back.

   You couldn't cry, hold it, hold it for just a little while.

  Atrox was always mean to you, but he meant well, he meant well. He looked down at you, he gripped your hand that seemed to never let go of Caedes. "I never learned much about love," your brother's voice seemed to drown you in your emotions, "But I've tried to show it to you" In your own way, I know, I know.

   Don't cry, I said, Don't cry.

   His grip got harder on your hands "There is a paradise, I'm sure there is" Paradise never felt real for you, I wonder if he said that for him or for you. "We'll be watching." Voluntarily as if asking Death to take him, he closed his eyes, and you reached for another hand, gripping harshly on his. 'This time,' as if you begged him in your mind 'I won't complain about your death grip' You begged again 'at least hold me'.

   You shouldn't cry, but it's okay, you can cry now. 

    At least you got to hear both of the last breaths.

 "You're alone?" The medal giver tried to look behind your bloody figure, trying to find any soul, there was just you, the death grip you had on your brother's sword didn't soften. "Well, anyways, congrats-" You didn't hesitate to plunge your sword in his guts.

   "You romanticize war too much" and you- I killed him. 

 That night you ate your favorite meal and your mother was nowhere to be seen.

When you're cruel, 

good things happen.

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