The Other Brother

Everyone is looking at me like they know what happened. I can't wait for this lift to open so that I can rush off to the flat and take a shower. I smell smoke. The lift pings open and I rush out like it’s no bodies business. I just want to be out of these noisy people's sight. I stop on my tracks when I see a figure sitting right in front of the door rocking its tiny body back and forth. My mouth becomes dry instantly. 
“Toti.” She lifts her head up. Her face is so red and messy. She looks so dirty. She is wearing one shoe. Her cries break my heart into a million pieces. For how long has she been here? I try making her stand but she winches to my touch. Her mouth looks dry. Words are failing to come out of my mouth. The door is locked. Neither of us has a spare. I will have to break the door down – there is no other way. 

I am watching her closely as she limps out of the shower. She has no energy in her, so I had to bathe her. Afraid to even ask what happened and how she survived. My eyes are wandering all over the place in confusion. Afraid to even look at her. I am the one who put her in this position in the first place. 
“Babe.” I call her. She sits on the bed butt naked and winches still. I now believe someone touched her inappropriately. Do I even ask that question? But she didn’t show any signs of being violated. Rather wait for her to pour herself out to me.
“I thought you were dead.” She finally says something. The pain in her eyes. I rush to sit beside her. Her lips tremble, she is muffling her cries. I held her tight. 
“I am still here for you. My life will never be the same without you.” I say. She hugs me tighter. I thought she was mad at me. I am glad that she is letting me in once again. My life without her will be totally meangingless. “You are my one and only. I can't imagine my life without you.” I add. She nods her head. 
“He almost raped me.” I clench my jaws in anger. Not that I am angry at that man. I am angry at myself that I failed her. I failed myself too. She trusted me and what did I do? I failed her. These thoughts have been plaguing me for a while now and seemingly out of nowhere. I am sitting on my own and these thoughts just start manifesting - thoughts of self-loathing among other negative thoughts and emotions. I feel hopeless and insignificant. How do I protect her from the world? From my world to be specific. 
“I’m sorry.” That is what I can offer at the moment. As naked as she is, I make her lay on the bed. I need to check her foot. It looks swollen. I look underneath it and there's a thorn stuck in it. I will have to pull this out or better yet call for the doctor to look at it. There might be an infection. But first since I know that her and pain are water and oil. I will have to overdose on her with sleeping tablets. Two doses will save the day. I wish I could make her forget everything. 

Impiyakhe managed to track down Manqoba for me. He managed to locate which hospital he was in. Driving down to the hospital has me filled with a lot of timorous. I am feeling uneasy. I don’t know how bad the situation is. Is he alive or dead. My head is banging with a lot of questions. I left Khanyi fast asleep. I hope by the time I get back she will be still asleep. But I requested for John to check up on her leg. If there is no damage or harm done. I park the car at the parking lot and step out. The atmosphere is thick. I feel like getting back in the car and driving off. I take a deep breath and follow the trails of footprint sticks. My eyes roam around the reception. Trying to locate anyone. Seems busy and there is no one in sight. I sigh with my hands on my hips. Where to from here? I turn around and my eyes land on Thanbi who is leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. My heart skips a beat. I decided to make my way to her. I stand Infront of her with my aching heart. 
“Thabi.” I called her. She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me. I cannot have another woman crying on me. How do I even comfort her? 
“They shot him. I saw the bullet holes.”: She cries even harder. I pull her into a tight hug and make her lay on my chest. I hate seeing her like this fully knowing that there is nothing I can do. 
“I’m sorry.” 
“He said he will be there for me through thick and thin. He promised me that he will love me until the end of time.” With hiccups in-between, it’s hard to put wat she is saying. I hug her even tighter. She clunges onto my chest with her arms around my waist.
“Everything will be fine.” I tell her. What else can I say. I domt know how bad the damage is. Asking will be shooting myself on the foot. She groans and holds her stiomach. “Arte you okay?” I ask out of shock. 
“My abdomen hurts.” She screams. 
“What is wrong with her?” Asks another man. I just raise my eyebrows at him and sigh. This is the stupid bimbo that broke my woman's heart. 
“Just go look for a doctor and stop asking senseless questions. Is she not pregnant?”
I hiss. Only now his mind has picked up, He hurries out of sigh. 
“Do you want to sit?” I direct my question to Thabi. My skin is being skinned alive. I swear I will have saggy skin after this. She groans even louder than before. 
“It hurts.” She cries out loud. Okay fuck this shit! I pick her up in bridal style and run with her along the hall way. I swear I felt my pants getting wet. I see a nurse pushing stretcher going into another direction. 
“Nurse!” I shout. She turns. I run towards her. Thanbi lands on the stretcher. 
“Sir...” 
“She is pregnant.” 
“Jesus. Follow me.” She pushes the strecher along. I follow behind. I look at my jean and I am bloody wet. She peed on me. I sigh. She is now curled into a ball screaming her lungs out. “Please step outside sir. Your wife will be fine.” She warmly smiles at me. I run out of words. Just when I am about to correct her I am being pushed outside. Okay - I put my hands up in surrender and walk out. If I leave here and she wakes... I just have to wait and see is she will be fine. I pray to the Lord that this should not be a miscarrage. It cant be obe thing after another. 

After some time of waiting the doctor finally comes out. My feet are numb because of standing. I see a long face and I just know that the news are terrible. 
“How is she?” I ask. 
“Your wife is strong. Both her and the baby are fine. She is just under a lot of stress and her BP was high. But we managed to sedate her. She is asleep for now; you can go see her.” He taps on my shoulder and walks past me. Again, I failed to correct him. At least she is okay. Hope its stays that way. Khanyi is not okay emotionally. Looks like she is the one who has to be strong for her sister. I know she is now a tough cookie. She will be fine. She will pull through again. I walk back to the reception area to wait. The bimbo is busy pacing up and down. He looks at my pants and frowns.
“Where is my wife?’ 
“You need to fill out some files. She is being admitted.” 
He is the one frowning now looking at me.
“What do you mean?’ 
“I mean the doctor has admitted her. Her BP was too high.” 
I feel him burning on the inside. I don’t even understand why he is here in the first place. He is just useless. He can huff and puff until he blows the hospital down. Fact still remains. He is useless. I see Dumisa standing by the entrance. He is using his using his standard folder walker. I am glad that he is taking the initiative to try and get back on his feet. The physio is really helping out. 
“Son.” He acknowledges me. 
“Baba. How is Manqoba doing?” I ask. 
He takes a deep breath and I just know that all is not well. 
“Not good at all. I am hurting because I don’t know what to do. I feel useless, like I can’t do anything right for my kids.” 
“You being here will mean the best for her. I am sure even your grandchild will appreciate you being here.” I respond. He keeps quiet for a while – walks past me and takes a seat steady. The pains are still there but he is trying by all means to be strong.
“Manqoba is a fighter. He will come out stronger than this.” 
Okay, that is a bit awkward. I mentioned his grandchild and he bluntly ignored me. I think he is not happy about how it happened. I too would have been mad as hell. Ngcobo really made everyone's life in that family a circus. 
“There is the doctor.” 
Finally! I have been here for a very long time. 
“How is my brother?” I ask. My palms began to sweat. 
He looks at the file and deeply sighs. “Complications from the treatment, that extended to coma. The bullet went through the right ventricle of his heart, through his lung, hitting his spleen, and damaged his upper intestine. We didn't even find the bullet till we noticed it was still sitting right underneath the skin between two ribs near his mid back.”
“I don’t know the shit you’ve just said. Will my brother be fine? That is all I want to know, please.” 
“At this point. He is in the middle of life and death. We just praying for the best.” He says. 
“So, you trying to tell me that he is good as dead?’ I choke on my own saliva. 
“I hate to say this but yes. Only God can make a miracle on him surviving this one.” Doc. 
This is one fucked ups situation for me. “Can we see him?” 
“One at a time.” 
“You can go in son. I will wait for you here.” 

“I don’t really know how to help but I do care. Just know that you are not alone in all this. I will suffer with you until you die.” I chuck. I don’t even know what to say. 
“How are you feeling by the way? Shit I forgot ukuthi wisdumbu.” I laugh. I waited for him to join in but nothing. Reality sinks in. This is not the Manqoba I know. This is not my brother. I want my brother back. How do I take care of him?