The Other Brother

My session today was emotional. I have no idea why. I suggested therapy to Stacy, and she bluntly told me that it was for the weak. So, I took a step back. Looking at myself now and comparing myself to the old Khanyi. I see a lot of changes. I now get to pay attention to my surroundings. I try to make sense of what people say. I admit I was slow. How did Skhosane keep up with me up in that way? I chuck. Some things are just embarrassing to be honest. I do have a glimpse of my craziness. Amanda is the worst. She would shake my head and tell me to wake up. How I focused on class. I have no idea too. I wonder if there are still bullies out there. I sigh in exhaustion. My mind is just not functioning today. I feel like something bad will or about to happen. But I have no idea what. I shake the thought off. I need to take a warm shower, maybe my mind wil function in a better state. Mkhuleko will be here in no time. He asked me to accompany him tomorrow to fetch Manqoba. I wonder how will Thabi tackle this febbing station of hers. It’s like this baby she is carrying is the course of her misbehaving. I smile. But non the less, I love her with her whoring ways. I just cannot wait to meet my niece or nephew. I will truly make a great aunt. 
“If it’s me making you smile like that. Then I have nothing to worry about.” 
“Weeee Mkhuleko, I met a new man.” I say and wiggle my eyebrows. I see a frown on his face. I want him to be where I want him to be. 
“What did you say?” 
“I said...”
“I heard what you said.” 
“Pho ufunani?” I ask. Annoying him even more. He marches towards me. Pulls me by my arm and twists it. I don’t know what happened, but I find myself punching the hell out of him. I didn’t mean it. I stand there frozen still looking at him holding his jaw. Blood. 
“Ow my God. I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry.” I'm already flying all over the room trying to search for a towel. I am even afraid to ask how bad the damage is. I hurt for hurting him. I open the drawer and take out some wipes. I can feel his heavy presence behind me. He kisses the back of my neck and turns me around. The smile on his face scares me to death. I look at him confused. 
“That is the wife material I ordered. Stacy is doing a good job. I see.” He picks me up and throws me on top of the bed with him getting on top of me. 
“Huh.” Honestly, I am confused. Shouldn’t he be mad at me? 
“I love what you are becoming. Standing up for yourself. I vowed to make you strong. And you are just following the right path. I am happy.” He says pressing his lips against mines. I am consternated. 
“I want you to defend yourself in difficult situations. That is why I suggested for you to take part in the shooting range and then boxing classes.” 
I keep quiet. “What is on your mind? I can see that you are thinking something.” He says. 
I take a deep breath. His body is heavy on top of mine. “I still have trauma of what happened that day. You pushing me out of the car.” 
We never really spoke about it. It happened and we just went past that stage. But that has been eating me up ever since. I still have thoughts of me being pushed out of the moving car. 
“I’m sorry sthandwa sami. I did not mean to but that was the only way for us to stay alive. I promise to try not to put you into those kinds of situations again. I will try protecting you from seeing such.” I nod my head. Him apologizing is all that I wanted. I trust him – stupid me. 

Later that afternoon Mkhuleko decided to go out. He said he had an Important meeting with his brother. He promised me to meet him. But under good circumstances, not when there is trouble. 
“You seem different these days mntanami.” That is Babana making his way to the kitchen. 
“What else can I say. I am happy.” I respond. I am making tea for myself. He looks at me with so much admiration. Ow how I love this.
“I have something to tell you.” He blurts out. I stop making the tea and stand beside him. I can feel him shaking.
“Babana, are you okay?’ I ask. Fear takes in. What if he wants to leave? 
“Your mother...” 
“I bought takeaways.” Stacy shouts, making her way to the kitchen. What the hell is she doing here? Infact how did she enter without knocking? Manners are no where to be found. I swear Mkhuleko will be roasted for dinner. I just look at her dumfounded. Can't she see we are about to have a serious conversation! My nose flares. 
“You look cute with your nose flared. Tell your man I am here.” She leaves the kitchen. I swear this girl gets on my nerves. My father laughs nervously. I remember he wanted to tell me something before we were rudely interrupted. 
“I’m sorry. You were saying?” 
“Ow, I was asking if you have made any contact with your mother?” If I knew that he wanted to ask me that. I would have stopped him from asking me. But why is he looking nervous? 
“No, I haven't.” 
He nods his head in understanding. I watch him as he slowly limps to the dining room area. My mood has just died down. With this girl in here I feel unsettled. Mkhuleko should keep his female friends far away from where I stay. Bloody big head.