Flicker

19

"We're gonna go say bye bye to Daddy." I explain and he tilts his head.

"Where's hims going?"

"Daddy's hurt, and the machine is the only thing keeping him breathing, but Daddy died." I explain and Daniel shakes his head.

"No Daddy didn't. Hims is breathing Mama!" Daniel says as he wipes my tears.

Natalia steps out and she nods at me.

I walk in the room and Drake is laying still.

He's wrapped up in a ton of bandages and I sit Daniel beside him.

"Tell Daddy bye." I say quietly and Daniel shrugs.

"Bye bye Daddy!" Daniel says, hugging Drake.

Natalia grabs Daniel from me and gives me a moment alone with Drake.

"Snap out of it Drake." I say quietly, "Come on, wake up!"

"Wake up, damn it!" I scream as tears flood my eyes.

I wrap my arms around him and kiss his head.

"Your son needs you."

I wait for a miracle like it does in the movies, but it never comes.

"I need you." I admit softly as I grab his hand, pulling it to my mouth and kissing it.

"I'm sorry for everything, every hurtful word I said. I'm sorry for leaving." I apologize and I take one last look.

I pull my phone out my pocket and take one last picture with him.

"I love you, Drake Nathaniel Harper. I'll learn to live without you, I'll make sure Daniel grows to be a good person." I promise before walking out.

The doctors come in and both Natalia and Jackson hold Drakes hand.

Natalia sits Daniel beside Drake and he cuddles up next to his dad.

It's sickening. It really is.

We watch as they unplug him and the monitors stop beeping.

"Time of death, 14:32." The doctor announces and I see Jackson and Natalia still praying over him.

I grab Daniel and pass him to Levi.

"Has anyone told Daisy?" I ask and Jackson nodded.

"She couldn't leave." Natalia says as tears are rolling down her cheeks.

She stands up and buries her face in Jackson's chest.

I walk out the room with Daniel in my arms and very shakily call Ben.

This isn't okay.

It will never be okay.

Drakes dead, my kid's officially fatherless.

I look down and feel arms hugging me.

"Let me have Daniel." Levi sighs and I pass him, hugging whoever it is that's hugging me.

When I look up, Jackson and Natalia have pulled me into their hug and we're all three just crying together.

"This isn't fair." I whisper and Natalia pulls me out and stares at me.

"I lost my daughter, now my husband. I can't loose anymore!" I scream and a doctor walks over to me.

"You're the wife?" She asks and I nod.

"We're separated but yeah."

"Your husband, when conscious, he wanted me to give you this if he didn't make it."

I take the paper and it's a picture of us four when Natalia first came home. I was holding her and Drake had Daniel on his hip. We're both smiling and just happy.

Life was good back then.

The doctor leave and I can see her wiping her own tears as she walks to another family. They have a crushing reaction.

I close my eyes and walk over to Levi, pulling him to the side.

I wrap my arms around him and he pulls me to a chair and sits down, pulling me into his lap.

Daniel sits on my leg and he wipes my tears away.

"Daddy will come back just like you did." He shrugs and I hold him as I lean into Levi.

Ben walks in he grabs Daniel with one arm, pulling me into a bone crushing hug with the other.

"He's with God now, trust him." Ben whispers, kissing my forehead.

I look down and feel my heart pounding out my chest.

This couldn't be real. I can't do this alone. Levi isn't a for sure forever. How do I manage this?

How do I possibly move on. My parents abandoning us for drugs hadn't hurt this bad. I remember one day we just stayed with Jackson permanently until Ben graduated.

Any spanking Jackson, Ben, Alayna, or even Natalia had hurt this bad. My Dad shoving me in a wall and calling me worthless, it didn't hurt this bad.

This is the most hurtful aside from my baby girl and that still hurts.

I feel my chest heaving and when I come to, Levi is shaking me and trying to get my attention.

"He's gone." I say quietly and Levi kisses me.

"I need you to be strong for Daniel right now, he doesn't understand but one day he will." Levi explains quietly.

I rest my head on his chest and try to stop the tears.

"I'm taking her home." Levi sighs and J shake my head.

"I want his phone." I demand and Ben rests a hand on my shoulder before walking over to Jackson and Natalia.

He walks back over and looks me in the eye.

"Are you okay to take Daniel or do I need to?" He asks without any judgement.

"I can keep-"

"I asked my sister, Levi. If she's no capable Im taking him because I know how bad her depression can get." He says darkly and Levi nods.

"I'm capable." Is all I say and he passes Daniel to me.

"If you decide you aren't and don't call me-"

"You won't touch her." Levi says just as darkly, cutting Ben off.

"I was gonna say at least call Jackson." Ben pauses taking a breath before continuing, "I appreciate you taking up for her."

Levi nods and he wraps his arm around me.

"Lets get you home."