Falling

18

Earlier... that Thursday... the one of therapy... Stans therapy...

"What'd you get?" I see the redhead turn around to face me in my peripheral vision, but my eyes are still glued to the sheet of paper, displaying that I'm a failure.

I sigh, keeping my eyes on what was a single letter yet read you're an idiot over... and over, "A bad thing." I turn my paper over so no one will ever have visual evidence to support why they think I'll never succeed. Okay, I get it, one bad grade doesn't mean I'm never going anywhere, and usually, I don't care. Still, my parents are already disappointed in me for my grades, so I can't let them see I'm officially failing a class, basically a month into the year.

Kyle frowns, eyeing the paper on my desk, "Common, it can't be that bad."

My friend begins reaching for the sheet, but I grab his wrist without even thinking, causing the boy to flinch. I instantly let go widening my eyes as I stare into the stars within his own, "Sorry, I'm sorry," my eyes fall away from his, "I just don't want you to see."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I won't look if you don't want me to, and don't stress about it. It's just a grade," I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the redhead's remark. Again, I tried not to. This time, I really did, but the hypocritical statement got the best of me. Clearly, Kyle found the action quite unpleasing, "What?" Yep, he's mad.

I hesitate so I can find the right words to explain the action of my bitchiness, "Nothing," yet I did not find them. So now, the redhead allows his eyes to fall back into his head. I chuckle softly, but that only seems to make things worse.

"What's funny now?" See, that's a tricky question. There's no way I can answer that in a way that wouldn't let my biggest secret spill to the star of said secret. It's not my fault that he's so cute when he's annoyed.

Eventually, I make another attempt at mending the growing frustration in the fired-up ginger, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to roll my eyes," that part of the apology only resulted in another eye roll. This time I manage to resist giggling and continue my explanation, "It's just that you say that it doesn't matter; about a grade, that is, yet you are the one who is constantly saying that it's bad to get anything less than an A."

"Hey, that's not true. I say that it is bad for me to get anything less than an A." I raise an eyebrow, and Kyle already catches onto what was off about his statement before I point it out, "I'm not saying that I'm better than you. Besides, I wouldn't hold myself to such high standards if my mom would get out of my ass." My eyes flash open to their maximum level of wideness before I burst into a fit of laughter. It didn't take Kyle long to catch onto what he had just said from my reaction, "I meant off, off my ass!" I continue laughing my own ass off as the redhead tries to compensate, "Shut up, you know what I meant."

I let out a few more puffs of laughter before I could speak, "Yes, yes I do," Kyle smiled, not realizing such a response was too early, "Your mom is in your ass, and that is causing you to get a little uptight about how you score in school due to the added discomfort from the pressure your mom has on you from being stuck in your butt hole."

Kyle looked at me with crossed arms and lowered eyelids as I continued laughing. Eventually, the unamused boy huffs, "It's not that funny."

"Yeah, it is, it really is," Kyle sends off a final eye roll before allowing his lips to curve into a smile. I'm surprised he's smiling since if it were Cartman or even Kenny, he'd still be pissed. We are best friends, but I wonder if this special treatment is for another reason... like pity.

I try to turn the subject away from the reminder that my best friend, who I also happen to be in love with, pities my issues, "What did you get?"

There was confusion at first, but eventually, Kyle caught on to how I was referring to the Spanish test. The boy hands it to me rather than saying it out loud as if he were embarrassed. How could he be embarrassed about getting 100%, though— "How the fuck did you get 110%?"