Chapter 19

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Scott POV

I understand the importance of pack meetings, I do, but I don't want to be here right now. I'd rather be doing anything else. Stiles didn't look okay, Lydia and Isaac aren't here, I want to go home.

My phone went off. I pulled it out of my pocket tuning Derek out.

From: Bambi Eyes
Hey. I'm on my way. I got out of the dentist later than I thought. Tell Derek so he won't kill me, please?

I huffed a laugh, "Isaac said he's on his way. He got held up at the dentist." I interrupted Derek. He nodded as Stiles gave me a weird look.

"Who?" He asked.

"Isaac? Isaac Lahey? You know, Bambi Eyes. He's your favorite?" I said. Stiles looked down with a look on his face as if he was trying to remember.

"I-I don't...I don't know who you're talking about." Stiles looked like he was going to have a panic attack. I looked up at Derek who now looked like he was going to throw up.

"Hey, it's okay. You'll remember when you see him. Okay?" I tried reassuring Stiles. He nodded. I looked at Malia silently telling her to watch Stiles as I got up to find Derek who disappeared.

I found him pacing in his room. "Derek," I said. He didn't respond. "Calm down." I said grabbing his arm.

"How? How am I supposed to calm down?" He said anxiously.

"Stiles is going to be okay." I said hoping to make him feel better.

"He's forgetting more and more. He forgot Isaac. How long is it before he's going to forget me. I can't lose him Scott. He's my..." He was holding back his tears, not able to get any more out.

"Derek, Stiles will never forget you. He loves you to death. Out of all of us, he won't forget you. He won't. I know it." I said. Derek nodded, collecting himself.

---

Its only been a short amount of time and Stiles has gone from not okay to bad and now worse in the blink of an eye.

His dad said if it gets any worse he's going to be hospitalized. I feel bad for the Sherrif. Watching his wife and his only kid slowly die from the same illness.

I remember what both of them went through when Claudia passed. It was horrible. I've never seen Stiles so...broken. And now, just as he is starting to recover, he's fallen down the same rabbit hole with no cure.

It breaks my heart seeing my best friend like this. Slowly forgetting, slowly dying. I say slowly but it's working so fast. In a matter of weeks the world will be a little less amazing, a little more...plain and boring. Stilesless.

I don't want to live in a world without Stiles.

Stiles POV

I know I'm getting worse. I know I'm hurting everyone around me. The way Scott or Derek or even my dad looks at me now, full of pity. They shouldn't pity me, I already figured it would happen. I've forgotten most of the pack. I remember Derek-thankfully-and Scott. I remember Jackson still, probably because he's only bullied me since forever. And Lydia. I remember Lydia.

I don't want to forget them. I don't want to forget everything that's happened the past few years. I mean yeah, it's hell, and yeah, I wish I had a normal life sometimes...normal is just too boring. But I'd rather have a boring life than not have a life.

I'm not afraid to die. No, instead I'm afraid of what will happen to everyone I know when I die. Like my dad, I'm all he has left. After my mom passed he started drinking. Without me to help him stop that horrible habit he probably would've died. But now, that I won't be there to help...he won't have anyone to save him from himself.

Derek. Oh God, Derek. I'm his mate. Don't werewolves die without their mate? Or is that just like emotionally because if that's the case he'll be okay. He's probably going to blame himself for my death. He had nothing to do with it but...he'll still blame himself.

What about Scott? How is he going to take this. We've been best friends since we were little. We know everything about each other. I can't even picture not being able to talk to him on a daily basis how is he going to live without me? I know I sure as hell wouldn't be able to live without him.

Oh God, I don't want to die. Not yet. I haven't even done anything for anyone to remember me for. At first it will be 'I miss Stiles.' But then it'll be 'who's Stiles?' I don't want that. I was in the shadows long enough.

Whatever. I don't even really care about that all that much. I just want everyone else to be okay. They probably will be aside from my dad. I mean they have each other. They'll get over it. Derek will find someone else. Scott has Isaac. I'm easily replaceable, right?

At this rate, my thoughts will kill me before the actual sickness does.

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