Marianne Constancia
Pilit kong ngumiti pero hindi pa rin talaga mawala ang kaba sa dibdib ko ngayon. Did I do something wrong? How am I supposed to face Mrs. Casteñares? It's really a mess right now.
I can't smile right now, parang ang hirap ngumiti at gumalaw sa isang sitwasyong alam mong may nakatingin sa'yo, especially when someone's looking at you has high standards with outstanding professional like Mrs. Casteñares.
Ang hirap, sobrang hirap.
"Sobrang nakakahiya, Ysabel. Sa totoo lang gusto kong umabsent ngayon kasi wala akong mukhang ihaharap kay Mrs. Casteñares." I shrugged as I reflectively turned my gaze away from her.
"Ano ba kasing nangyari?" aniya.
"Alam mo namang may date kami ni Yohan no'ng Sabado, 'di ba?"
Ysabel nodded. "Yes, and then?"
"Mrs. Casteñares saw us,"
Sa isang iglap, biglang naglaho ang kanyang ngiti. Naging seryoso ito at sumimangot sa isang saglit.
"A-Ano? Seryoso ka?" gulat niyang sambit.
"As in, Ysabel, but what's more intriguing, she wasn't happy when she saw me together with Yohan, 'yong parang-"
"Parang ano?" Ysabel raised her eyebrows.
"I mean parang hindi niya ako gusto para kay Yohan, iyong tipong sasabihin na niyang hindi Ko nababagay kay Yohan. It's making me sick."
"Seryoso ka ba talaga, Marianne?" tanong ulit ni Ysabel sa akin.
"I am very sure of it, sa titig pa lang ni Mrs. Casteñares sa akin. Mga titig niyang nanghuhusga." Napabuntonghininga na lamang ako.
"Grabe ding strikta ni Mrs. Casteñares 'no? Pati sariling estudyante niya, siya na rin ang kumukontrol? Ano siya magulang ni Yohan?" anas ni Ysabel sa akin.
"That's a no way! I'll try to observe, Ysabel and see what's really going on." Ani ko.
"Well..." Ysabel replied and lifted her gaze right inside our classroom. "I guess, Mrs. Casteñares is coming here." She added.
My heart pounded the moment my eyes met Mrs. Casteñares' eyes. She even beamed at me, she was looking directly at me all the way to our classroom. I tried titling my gaze but the fear coming inside my body felt like I was going to die.
"Good morning class!" pagbati ni Mrs. Casteñares, as usual saka pumasok na ito sa classroom namin.
Kahit nasa likuran akong nakaupo ay kitang-kita ko pa rin si Mrs. Casteñares na nakatingin sa akin.
Napalunok ako at kaagad na umiwas. Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto akong pagmamasdan ni Mrs. Casteñares pero hindi talaga ako mapapalagay sa mga titig niyang iyon.
Hanggang sa natapos na ang oras niya ay bigla akong nakaramdam ng pagbunot ng tinik sa lalamunan.
"Thanks God!" bulong ko sa sarili.
Nang makaalis na kami sa loob ng classroom, agad kong niyaya si Ysabel na mag iced coffee na muna kami para iwas stress.
"Ysabel, iced coffee muna tayo?" anyaya ko sa kanya.
Tumango lamang si Ysabel. "Tara!" Pero nang akma na sana kaming magpunta sa canteen biglang may tumawag sa pangalan ko sa likuran.
"Marianne Constancia,"
Nang nilingon ko ito, kaagad kong nasilayan ang mukha ni Mrs. Casteñares.
"Po? Mrs. Casteñares? Is something wrong? pagdadalawang isip kong tanong.
"Can we talk? Private talk." Aniya.
"O-Okay po, Mrs. Casteñares."
"Please directly go to my office." Maawtoridad niyang sambit.
Sobra na akong napalunok at napabuntonghininga na lamang. I can't find reasons why would Mrs. Casteñares wanted to talk to me. May nagawa ba akong kasalanan?
"Ano kayang pag-uusapan niyo, Marianne?" halata na rin ang kaba sa boses ni Ysabel.
"I don't know Ysabel. This is very sudden and I'm getting nervous. Hindi ko alam, nagawa ba akong kasalanan?"
I felt it, I really wanted to cry. I don't know what to do.
"Kumalma ka, malalaman natin pagkatapos niyong mag-usap ni Mrs. Casteñares. Basta huwag mong ipapakita na natatakot ka sa kanya, okay?" humarap si Ysabel sa akin at hinawakan ako sa balikat.
"How am I supposed to calm down?" I felt my hands are trembling with so much fear.
"Relax, okay?" pag-uulit niya sa akin.
I nodded.
Alam kong wala akong pamimilian at kaswal akong naglakad papunta sa direksiyon ng office ni Mrs. Casteñares.
Nang marating ko ba ang office, walang imik akong pumasok roon.
"Good thing you're already here." Mrs. Casteñares said.
I cleared my throat as her face went silently serious. Napayuko na na lamang ako at halos mahigit ko ang hininga ko.
I take a glance but her death stares was commanding, and her eyes were very sharp.
"Marianne Constancia."
Sa pagbanggit niya pa lang sa pangalan ko, pakiramdam ko ay ibabagsak na niya ako sa subject niya.
I held my chin up, I just remembered what Ysabel said to me earlier to never show fear in front of Mrs. Casteñares.
"Ano po iyon, Mrs. Casteñares? Is there any problem?" tanong ko.
"So, what's your relationship with Yohan Gonzales?" striktong tanong niya.
"P-Po?" napaubo ako.
"Are you his girlfriend?" Mrs. Casteñares even raised her eyebrows.
My heart was hammering inside my chest but I rolled my eyes. Handa naman akong sumagot pero hindi sa tanong na iyan.
I puckered my lips to keep my mouth shut.
"Sorry po, Mrs. Casteñares but that's too personal and I won't answer you for that." I released a long sigh and finally said it.
Agad nang naalis ang kaba sa dibdib ko. For some reason my heart pounded si loudly that I could focus and see to myself that I finally smiled on my own.
"You're just reasoning out,"
"Because that's too personal at wala iyong kinalaman sa subject mo, Mrs. Casteñares." Sambit ko. "If there's nothing else, aalis na po ako." Dagdag ko na pang sambit.
And with that, hindi ko na pinansin si Mrs. Casteñares ng tinanguan niya ako. Itinuon ko lang ang atensiyon ko sa paglabas ng office niya.
I didn't even wait for her to call my name again. I marched up to the door, maintaining my composure even though I was already muttering curses in my head, even though I knew it was not right.
I won't waste my time on unimportant things but pay attention ot the important stuff in life.
