Ratneshwari

Chapter 30

Ratneshwari went to the market next day, to buy some groceries. She was buying potatoes when she heard the voice of a man,"Give me 2 kg potatoes." She turned around and saw the same man who had given her the card. He saw her and smiled. He said,"Hello Ratneshwari." Ratneshwari said,"Hi". The man took his potatoes and paid some money to the vegetable seller. He started talking to Ratneshwari again.

"So, you're here to buy groceries."

"Yes"

"See, I remember your name. Do you remember my name?"

"Your name is Dhruvan."

"I am glad that you have not forgotten my name. It seems that God wants us to meet again and again."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing! It's just that we met again. Are you going to take this bus?"

"Yes"

"That's good. I am going to take this bus too."

Ratneshwari and Dhruvan boarded the bus. The bus was quite crowded. Ratneshwari got a seat. After a few minutes, Dhruvan came to her and said,"Actually, the bus is crowded and there is no other seat. If you don't mind, can I sit beside you?" Ratneshwari nodded her head. Dhruvan sat beside her.

The bus started moving. Ratneshwari was looking outside through the window. Dhruvan thought,"Should I try my luck? Well, she must be about 30-35 years old. What if she's married? I think I should ask her." Dhruvan cleared his throat.

"How many children do you have?"

"I don't have any children."

"And your husband? What does he do?"

"I am a divorcee."

"Oh! I am sorry."

"It's okay."

"With whom do you live?"

"I live alone."

"Alone? Why?"

"My family members died in an accident."

"I am sorry once again."

"You need not be. It's me who has a bad fortune."

"Hey, don't say like that. You will surely find a way. Well, if you don't mind, can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"Did you take the divorce recently?"

"It has been 8 years."

"Eight years! In these eight years, did you ever think of remarrying?"

Ratneshwari did not say anything. She just stared at him. He realised that, she did not like the question. So, he said,"Sorry Ratneshwari. I should not have asked that." Tears filled Ratneshwari's eyes. She was angry. She said to him,"Do you think that it is so easy to forget your past? All of you are same. Even he kept chanting the same thing,'Divorce me Ratna, get married to someone else. You'll surely find someone.' Is my life so worthless? Don't my feelings matter? Get married to someone else! As if my love meant nothing!" Ratneshwari's bus stop arrived. She did not say anything to Dhruvan and got down from the bus. Dhruvan said to himself,"I messed up with everything. Why are you so stupid Dhruvan????? It was a personal question. You are just a stranger to her. Why did you need to ask her that?"

(Ratneshwari's home)

Ratneshwari kept the groceries and vegetables in the kitchen. She went to her bedroom and lied on the bed. She said,"Why did you do this, Shiv? I loved you so much. I still love you so much. What did I do to deserve this? You are living happily with your Sheetal and your child. And I? I have to rot here alone. Did you ever think how I will feel? You were the only family I had. I have no one else. Even if I die, there will be no one to perform my last rites."

Ratneshwari hugged a pillow close to her chest and started crying.

(At Dhruvan's home)

"So, you directly asked her about remarriage?", said a 20 year old girl. That 20 year old girl was Vaijayanti, Dhruvan's sister. She was lovingly called Viji by her family members.

Vaijayanti placed her hand on Dhruvan's shoulder.

"Anna, did you actually ask her about remarriage on your second meeting?"

"Viji, stop making faces. I did not know that she still loves her husband."

"Anna, you are 35 years old and still single. Have you ever wondered why?"

"Don't start that again."

"Why won't I? She is a divorcee but that doesn't necessarily mean that she hates her husband."

"If she loves her husband, then why did she divorce him?"

"Well..."

"Yes, tell me. Answer me now, since you are the smart one here."

"Anna, if you are so interested to know, why don't you ask her yourself? At first, you need to become her friend. Then, you can ask her such personal questions. But before that, you need to apologise to her.....if you happen to meet her again."

"Yeah, you are right."

"Hope everything goes right so that, I can have an Anni before my hair turns grey."

"Viji........"

"I gave you so many tips. Now, you have to give me a treat. I want an ice cream."

Dhruvan went to his room. He came back after 2 minutes. He held out a 20 rupee note and said to Vaijayanti,"Here, take this and buy an ice cream." Vaijayanti hugged him and said,"Thank you, Anna. You are so sweet."

Dhruvan came out of Vaijayanti's room and saw his mother. He smiled at his mother and walked towards his room. His mother handed a few photos to him and said,"Choose a girl." Dhruvan said,"Amma, not again."

His mother said,"What 'not again' ? After getting a job, you wanted to earn another degree. You said that you didn't want to get married. Did I say anything then? Now, when I am asking you to get married, you are making faces. Till now, you have rejected 6 girls. Tell me! Will I ever see the faces of my grandchildren? I even made some jewelleries so that I can gift them to my granddaughter. But you want to remain a bachelor. God knows what sins I have committed in my previous birth."

Dhruvan acted as if he had not heard anything. His mother got angry. She said,"Keep ignoring me! Remain a bachelor for your whole life. Do one thing. Leave this house and go to the Himalayas. That is the best place for bachelors like you." His mother slammed the door hard and left his room.

(The same night)

Ratneshwari was sitting at the study table and preparing some notes for her students. While she was writing, something fell down from the table. She looked under the table. It was the packet of her antidepressant pills.

Ratneshwari fell into severe depression after her divorce. Her condition started worsening with time. Finally, it worsened to such an extent that, she started hallucinating. She used to hallucinate Shivan sitting beside her, hugging her and talking to her. But, she knew that she could not let things keep going in that way. She had to fend for herself. So, she visited a psychiatrist and started taking medicines.

Ratneshwari picked up the packet of medicines. She kept it on the table and sighed.

She opened a drawer and took out a photo. It was a photo of her marriage. She looked at the photo and said,"Shiv, the pain is becoming unbearable. Come and take me with you. Take me to a place where we can stay together. Take me to a place where no one can disturb us...." Ratneshwari wiped her tears and kept back the photo in the drawer.

She resumed her work.