Bet On It
The night after the party Kadei did some timeless thinking, she felt Cash had every reason to feel as he felt. She wanted to make things right, but she knew it would result in her having to leave.
Everyday she tried talking to Cash, she thought maybe they could compromise on living arrangements. For all she was in his house, and who was she to make demands in *his* house.
The more I tried working things out or fixing them, the more Cash kept his distance. He wouldn't look, speak or even come near me, he almost made me feel real life invisible.
He did not want to talk, he just wanted me to leave. I couldn't just leave, what about Benz. If I left there would be more questions, and that means more explaining.
"I can't just leave, I don't want to leave." I whined to myself.
I sat tall and quiet as hell in that doctors office, today was my first follow up on the baby. I've been pregnant for a short amount of time, but it felt like months and years to me.
The more I sat here I thought, and I was so tired of thinking. There was so much going on in my life, I had no idea what direction I was going in.
My tiny plate sat a mile high, and no one wanted to share with me. None of my friends were talking to me, my brother disrespected me. My mother was missing me, my boyfriend knew nothing of my kept secrets.
Everything was blowing up and it was all happening to fast, I never even got the chance to enjoy anything. I wasn't happy, I wasn't joyful...I was just there.
"Hello ms.Lozada" The nurse spoke walking inside of my assigned room, she always had such a big happy smile on her face. It irritates my life seeing this bitch so happy, like what was so magnificent?
Then I pondered on what I was saying in my mind, I wasn't happy...I couldn't even remember the last time I actually smiled and meant it.
"Dr.Highland should be in shortly, but first I want to ask you a few questions." She said briefly taking her pen out. "Anything." I said placing my hands on my thighs.
She smiled and took a seat crossing her legs. "How are we feeling? Any morning sickness? Any headaches or weird cravings?" She asked me cheerfully.
I shook my head no and sat up straight. "No I haven't had any of those issues, uhm am I supposed to?" I asked like as if I didn't already know the basics of being pregnant.
"Well you should, but your barely in your first trimester. Those symptoms might take a little more time, and that's ok." I felt a little relieved, but I was still pregnant.
"What we're going to be doing today is, listening to your baby's heartbeat." She smiled rubbing my stomach gently. "You do plan on keeping him or her right?" She asked looking at me.
The answer to this question wasn't decided yet, like I said I haven't had any time to think about this. I haven't told the father, I haven't told my mother, I just haven't done anything.
"I don't know...it's all so much." I confessed.
Lauren smiled and stood up to caress Kadei's back. "It's ok if your scared, your not the first young girl to be in this same situation." I knew that, but I still felt how I felt.
"I've been working here almost 4-years, do you know how many come in stressed out to know there going to be a mother?" Lauren shook her head reminiscing back on it.
"Some of them even younger then you, what the hell do they know about being pregnant." She took the words right out of my mouth, I'm only 19 so someone wasn't looking after there kids.
