The Color of Hate

Chapter 7

I feel like my mom has been hiding from me recently. I got up this morning ready to confront her about the little adventure she had at the police station, but she was already gone. And i always leave for school before her. I guess I'll just talk to her tonight.

I get ready for school, a bit less excited than yesterday. I have English first class. The subject itself isn't bad at all but the teacher is cruel. He almost didn't let me pass last year because I was late to one of his tests and he wouldn't let me take it. Pretty much no one likes him, but it is what it is.

I put my headphones in and walk to school. I'm early again, so I decide to stop on my way and get coffee. There's this sweet old lady that owns a coffee shop right next to our school and I sometimes stop by before or after school to say hi and buy some coffee or tea.

I take a seat in the back of the class, like every year. Usually Izzie would sit next to me, making English more bearable, but this year she decided to take AP English. So now I just pull out my book and hope for the best.
It's about ten minutes into the class, I am just reading my book when I hear a familiar voice.

Absolutely fucking not.

,,Hello, sorry I'm late sir. Won't happen again." Rhys says, out of breath.
,,If you say so. Please just take a seat and be quiet." The teacher says, obviously annoyed at him. At least there's that.

But then he goes and sits next to me. Since no one decided to sit here, it was the only empty sit. And it just keeps getting better. He sits down beside me, nose to the celling and a smug look on his face. I just hate how much he reminds me of my stupid father.

My stupid father that committed suicide because of me. It's all my fault.

My back is against the door. I am crying and all I want is for my dad to stop trying to enter my room. He keeps pushing the door. I just want him to leave leave leave and never come back.
,,Leave me alone!!" I yell, pouching the door back this time. He just keeps pushing the door.
I was just trying on a beautiful sundress I bought and he walked in on me, thinking I was going out like that. I tried explaining to him I was just trying it on but he wouldn't listen. I can tell he is drunk too, by the way his words blend togheter.
I change and burst out of my room.
,,I hate you so much and I wish you were never my father!" I say. And I just get out of the house and slam the door.

How could I be so stupid? It was all my fault. I should have been nicer to him. If it wasn't for me he would have been alive right now-

,,Miss Bennet, are you with us?" my teacher says, snapping me out of my toughts. I just nod.

,,Then you wouldn't mind answering my question right?" he responds. I hate when he just puts me on the spot like that. The whole class is staring and I can't concentrate for the life of me. I try searching the board for something but can't find anything. What I find is Matisse with his hand up. Super.

,,Mr. Matisse, please enlighten Esma here." he just smirks and starts talking, a proud look on his face. I go back to my book and try not focusing on my dad for the rest of the day.

When I get home I can hear my mom talking. Finally.

,,Hi mom, can I talk to you please?" I say and we go in the living room.

,,Look, I talked with Amy yesterday and she told me you left work early to go to the police station. Why did you lie to me?" I ask my mom. And her smile drops for a few seconds. Just a little bit her mask drops, but it's enough to make me lose my trust.

,,Yes, I forgot to tell you. I went to the police station to talk with Theo." She lies. Why does she keep lying and changing the story. I give her a smile and go to my room.

At this point I am sure there is something going on between her and Theo. I just hate the fact that she is lying to me.

It's been a week and my mom didn't mention dad once. I guess she just wants to forget about him. I wish I could forget too. I just keep and keep on trying to not think about him but I can't. I barely get any sleep and am always tired. I feel like I am the only one in the house. Mom is in her room barely talking to me and Lucas either does homework or hang out with Rhys, who are now best friends apparently. It's like I know I'm not alone. I know there are people who care about me, but I feel so lonely.

I make myself some french toast and sit down at the counter. I get my phone out and call Izzie.

,,Hey, Iz. I was thinking if maybe we could hang out today? I feel like we didn't really see eachother anymore." I say, hearing weird noises from her line.

,,I'm so sorry Es, I can't. I'm packing again, I just told my mom about Jess and she's going feral. So now we're going to the Bahamas again because she wants to meet him." Iz sighs.

,,Poor guy. Well, have a good trip, Izzie. Love you." and just like that I have to sit alone at lunch for a few weeks. I stab my toast with a fork and start cutting it.

,,Did your friend abandon you, Bennet?" Rhys says, pouring himself a glass of water. I swear he has been at our house everyday for the past week and it's getting on my nerves. I don't trust him being friends with my brother.

,,Leave me alone, Matisse. It's none of your
business." I say. He just smirks and goes back upstairs. I go back to my room and start reading, all I want is for Rhys to be out of the house and for everything to go back to normal.
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