Broken Love

|15

THIS CHAPTER IS A CHAPTER JUST TO BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT!

K A R E E M ' S P O V

"I HATE YOU," I MUTTERED AS I THREW ANOTHER punch at the punching bag. "I wish you were never in my life. I wish you were never my father in the first place."

It was all his fault. If he had just been a good father if he had never hit

Mami and I this all would've never happened. I would have never hit Chloe. I would have never been tricked into sleeping with that witch Denasia. He had ruined my whole life and was still continuing to do so. My mind still kept Chloe's face, Chloe, my beautiful angel, her face broken and sad.

You never deserved someone like her. Never have and never will.

And for once I found myself agreeing with that voice. I never did deserve an angel like Chloe. And now thanks to me, I was sure she hated my guts. And if I was her, I'd hate me too. Especially after all I did to her.

Once I was sure my hands would fall off if I continued, I headed towards the gym locker room where I retrieved my towel and gym bag and headed outside where the sun was beginning to set. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket as I got inside my car and allowed the phone to connect to my car's Bluetooth.

"Hello?"

"Kareem, where are you? I asked you to come today to visit your father and you never even came!" Mami's accent fills the car, her voice frustrated and disappointed.

"Mami-"

"¡Ni siquiera puedes visitar a tu padre Kareem! ¿Por qué no puedes simplemente perdonarlo?"

"Mami, te lo he dicho tantas veces. Ese hombre es y nunca ha sido mi padre. Y lo que nos hizo a los dos es imperdonable!" I yell back before letting out an exasperated sigh. "Can we just not fight about this? I'm sick and tired of you constantly bringing him up."

"Fine. Don't forgive him then," Mami says and I hear the click, signaling the call was over. My right-hand clenches into a fist and I pound it onto the steering wheel. It was as if the whole world was against me these days.

"Can I ever just catch a break?" I say, letting out a sigh of exhaustion. I was tired of this- this human being who seemed to cause troubles in my life even when he wasn't with me. A honk from the car behind me wakes me from my thoughts and I find myself not far from the church, looking at the cross that stood outside the building.

So what now you think the church or pastor can fix you? Make you perfect? You're pathetic.

Just as I'm about to turn the car, I hear a small voice. But would it really hurt?

Biting the corner of my lip, I do my best to swallow up the pride in me. I couldn't continue like this. If I did, I would be no better than my so-called father. Swallowing up my pride, I drive the car into the empty parking lot and find myself heading inside the building.

XXX

C H L O E ' S P O V

"Hey Chloe, this is Will. Just wanted to check on you. Talita said you haven't been answering her calls either and frankly, we're all worried. Please at least just let us know if you're okay. I'm just a call away."

Will's voice fills the small room as Chloe erupted into my tears, staring at the phone in front of her. She hugged tightly to the sleeves of her hoodie as she felt her body slide down the bathroom wall in angst. The smell of her hoodie was wretched due to the fact it was the only thing she had worn for the past few days but nonetheless, she still buried her face in it.

You thought you were loved. Look what happened to you now. You fat ugly girl. So naive. So, so naive.

"Shut up," Chloe yells out, covering her ears and screaming as loud as she could in her poor attempt to silence the torturing voices.

You should've just killed yourself a long time ago. But no, you wanted to live. You thought God loved you. You thought Kareem loved you. And look where that's got you now.

Chloe yelled out in frustration, tears, and snot rapidly coming down her face as she rocked her body back and forth. The voices in her mind continued to scream and hiss until Chloe found herself slowly yanking on the ends of her braids, hoping the pain from doing so would distract her from her mind. Her hands then found themselves on her arms and slowly, she scratched herself, her nails digging deep into her brown flesh. A small smile found itself on her face as the voices quieted as she scratched herself. Pulling up the hoodie sleeve, she ignored the deep marks that had now decorated her arms and continued until she was satisfied. Hearing the dorm room opening, she quickly pulled down her sleeve and using all the strength she had, got up from the floor.

Her reflection looked hideous, with deep bags under her bloodshot eyes and her braids now beyond visible and hidden under mounds of frizziness. The sparkle that she had on her face was dimmed, hardly even there and her clothes stank due to the fact that she just hadn't found any motivation to shower anymore. Then again, she didn't have the motivation for anything anymore, not even school. All she could think about was the brown eyes that watched her as she ran away, not even sorry about what had happened.

I bet Denasisa doesn't look like this. She's probably all dolled up hanging out with Kareem, being a better girlfriend than you. You're pathetic if you thought Kareem actually liked the way you looked. You're ugly. So ugly.

Chloe only meekly nodded along to the words, not bothering to fight them as a lone tear slid down her cheek at the thought of Denasia and Kareem. She was prettier than her and had better humor than her. Everyone turned their heads to look at her, with her fake eyelashes and impossibly wide hips.

Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. That's why Kareem beat you up. That's why he never loved you. You're just too ugly for him.

"Chloe! Chloe, can you hurry up in there? I have class in the next few minutes and I'm already late," Miriam pounded on the door, annoyance in her tone. Chloe slowly turned around and opened the door where she was met with an angry blondie, whose nose crinkled in disgust at her roommate's state.

"You need a shower," Miriam said, before pushing Chloe to the side and slamming the bathroom door behind her.

Chloe gave no response and instead after feeling a wave of fatigue come over her, collapsed onto her bed, allowing her face to sink into the soft pillow. She hoped her dreams would allow her to escape the real world but these days, those dreams were nightmares that just seemed to be even worse than reality. Chloe may have been feeling tired but she knew there was just no point in sleeping. There was no point in anything anymore.

Only a few hours later though, a groggy Chloe woke up from her semi-nap due to the repetitive knocking on the door. She let out a groan and used her fingers to rub her temple before turning her face to face the window.

"Chloe. Chloe c'mon I know you're in there," Will's voice, muffled behind the door, said.

Will. Chloe had completely forgotten about him along with everyone else. She didn't want any sympathy from anyone. Better yet, she didn't want to be around anyone. This message though certainly didn't come across to Will who continued his knocking.

"Just wanted to check in on you," Will said, softer than before which caused Chloe to strain to hear. A tear slid down her cheek as the voice and the knocking went away. 

That was yet another intense chapter for me to write.

What do you guys think Chloe should do now?

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