Glimpse

Part Six

I take a small drag, passing the joint back to Jason. "You kept that picture?" I ask him.

Bryce nods. "Of course I did, I kept other things. You don't just get rid of that stuff."

"Ah you do actually, it's called moving on." Jason comments.

"It was a good break up." I tell Jason.

"Was it?" Bryce asks.

I clam up, wondering where that came from. Jason gives me a look before pushing off the couch. "Oh...ah I'll be over here." He moves around the coffee table, grabbing the controller for the PlayStation. I watch him boot up the gaming console before I turn to address Bryce.

"What do you mean?" I whisper.

He moves closer on the couch. "Was it a good break up? Because I'm starting to think it was the worst decision I ever made."

"But I broke up with you..."

"And I just let you go."

My stomach flips and tosses around inside my body. I stare into his eyes waiting for the gotcha moment, but it never comes. He's being honest and truthful. Is this how he really felt? I think back to what Tyler said in the arcade, wondering if Bryce agreed with me about going our separate ways.

"You agreed with me when I said we should go separate ways. We were going to different universities."

He nods, moving an inch closer. "There's what I said and then what I wanted to say." He whispers, glancing at his friend.

I look at Jason, he looks pretty focused on his game, but you never know. "What did you want to say?"

Bryce shakes his head, looking down at his lap. "It doesn't matter anymore."

But it does matter. If he didn't agree with our breakup, then why did he let me do it. he should've said something, done something. I'm sure if he tried to convince me we could make it work I would've at least tried. And look he ended up coming here anyway.

I imagine my life would look very different right now if we hadn't broken up after graduation. Then again maybe we would never have lasted. "I think it does matter."

"Why? It's been almost two years since we broke up." he says quietly.

I frown. "Then why mention it?"

"You brought it up first. You spend the last year and half pretending we don't have history and then pick tonight of all nights to blurt it out to Jason." He gestures to his friend.

Jason's shoulders stiffen a little at the mention of his name signalling he is listening. "I'm high, I don't know what I'm saying." I blurt out.

Bryce snorts. "Hardly."

I think about Nora using the same excuse when she blurted out my secret to Bryce. Maybe I should remind him of that, then maybe he'll tell me what he really wanted to say. See I need to know what he wanted to say.

I think I'm beginning to realise what a stupid mistake I made by not only breaking up with him in the first place but choosing to pretend we don't have history for the last year and a half. Everything is sliding into place in my head.

I move closer to him on the couch, our legs grazing. "I lied." I whisper, my head awfully close to his.

He turns to meet my gaze. "About what?"

"It's not about the idea of you...it's actually you."

He stares at me, his gaze flicking to my lips briefly. "Me?"