Fall... [Billie Eilish Fanfic]

Chapter five

Billie's pov:

Why did I do that? She literally told me it was too personal but I just kept pushing and pushing her. No wonder she said she had to go to back to sleep. I don't blame her. That was so invasive.

I was laying in my bed with my face deep down my pillow just trying to undo all the mistakes I made in that phone call. Of course it didn't help one bit.

I wouldn't be surprised if she sent someone else to return the shirt. Why did I fuck that up soooo bad!?? Sometimes I just really really hate myself.

I tried to fall asleep to stop my brain from taking me back to that phone call. Tried thinking of literally anything ANYTHING else. But for some reason everything led back to it.

I do wonder if she actually is ... you know.

But just because you like a song doesn't mean it describes how you feel. I mean. She could be perfectly fine and still have that as her favorite song. I like songs I don't relate to.
Urrrggghhh. This is fucking up my brain!

I eventually fell asleep. I don't remember when but what I do remember is crying. It was also really obvious so when my mom came into my room she noticed and asked if I had been crying. I didn't know what to answer so I just hummed and pretended to be half asleep.

"Billie honey. You know you can always talk to me right? About anything. Big or small."

I knew. I just didn't feel like thinking about it again. I did enough thinking last night that's for sure.

Nodded. My eyes still closed.

"I made you some burritos for breakfast"

Burritos? I could eat some burritos.

"Thanks mama. I love you!" I said slightly opening my eyes.

"Love you too honey" she answered kissing my forehead.

Then she left my room. I rolled around a bit before grabbing my phone. Worst thing I could have done. Simply the worst.
Videos of me and Calvin in the car fighting last night were all over the internet. Some of my friends had texted me asking if I was okay. Nothing from him though. I didn't reply anyone. I was too exhausted even though I had just slept. I would just reply later.

I rolled out of the bed and onto the floor still rapped up in my blanket. I finally stood up and made my way into the kitchen.

Finneas was already up. Sitting with his computer doing nerdy shit.

"Morning sleepyhead" He said in a mocking tone.

"Morning" I hummed not wanting to socialize with anyone.

I sat at the table eating my burritos scrolling on instagram. I know Im not supposed to look at all that I just can't stop myself. I wanna know what people are saying about me. Even if it's bad. I don't care.

"Billie you know that's not good for you" Finneas annoyingly lectured me.

"Shut up"

"Billie..."

"What?"

"Something bothering you?"

"No why" I said not removing my eyes from the phone screen.

"Billie I can tell something's up. Do you maybe wanna tell me. Maybe I can help-"

"No. God you don't need to fix everything. Just because I'm not the most talkative person in the morning doesn't mean something wrong!" I snapped at him.

"Billie I'm sorry I-"

"Just leave me alone" I took my plate with the burritos to my room and finished it.

I know they meant well but it didn't feel that way. I hate pity. And they would just asume that the root to literally everything was Calvin. They all have something against him and i don't get why. They never stop to think about that there actually are other things to be sad about in this world. A lot actually.

I put the office on to get out of my head. It almost never failed to make me laugh. It did today though.
I took out my black notebook instead from underneath my bed and started doodling while the office was still in rolling in the background.

In the beginning it was just a shit ton of squiggly lines but eventually they became monsters. I don't know what it is about monsters they are just so satisfying to draw. You don't have think about them being perfect because there is no perfect.

I was lost in my drawings finally getting my thoughts out of my mind when Finneas came into my room. That bitch always forget that something called knocking exists.

"Some girl's asking for you" he says tired.

My body tensed up. Lexi? I looked at my phone. I had a text from her.

i'm at your house in 10

I had completely forgot I had given her my address. Fuck. Right now. I was a complete mess. I got up anyway and walked towards the front door.

Lexi's pov:

And there she was. Kind of a mess. A hot mess though. She didn't look me in the eyes.

"Here" I said handing her the shirt back.

"Thank you" she said grabbing the t-shirt but still not looking at me.

"Look I'm sorry about last night. Or this morning. Whatever you know what I mean. It was really not my place. Sorry" she said finally making eye contact.

Her eyes were puffy. Looked like she had been crying.

"No it's okay."

She opened her arms initiating a hug and I didn't waist a second giving it to her. Her body was warm and she smelled so nice. Man what was up with that?

"You wanna come in?" She asked.

"Yeah sure" I said trying to sound as casual as possible.

She led me to her room. It was filled with posters and red led-lights. She sat on her bed picking up a black notebook and putting it away under her bed. She put her hand on the bed next to her inviting me to sit.

"Soooo you like the office?" She asked with a smirk on her face clearly wanting me to say yes.

"I honestly haven't watched it." I admitted.

She just glared at me like I had just told her I was a time traveler or something.

"What?" She just said stunned.

"Yep"

"We have some work to do then." She started looking for the remote.

"Never watched the office?" She mumbled to herself.

"No but seriously who raised you? This a huge mistake. HUGE." She said while searching for the first episode.

A/n:

I don't know what to say but that was chapter five. hope you liked it.

1100 words

See ya! <3