Everything Has Changed

Lucy

"Of course, of course, how is Lizzie?" she asked as she started on my coffee.

"She's good, she was in a bit of a weird mood this morning though," I replied.

"Weird how?" Scarlet asked, putting the ice into my drink.

"I don't know, she was just really jumpy."

Scarlet nodded, "did you knock her up or?" she giggled.

I raised my eyebrows and giggled a little.

"Y/N what are you not telling me?" she said with an awkward laugh, passing my drink over the counter.

"We weren't going to tell anyone until we knew they were healthy but um- Lizzie and I are trying for a baby," I said with a smile.

Her mouth opened and her eyes lit up, "oh my god Y/N this is so exciting!!"

"Shhhh we still need to take a test to make sure, but all the signs are pointing in the right direction," I smiled proudly.

"Awww I'm happy for you babe, you deserve it," Scarlet said with a sweet smile.

"Thank you," I replied, "look I need to go to work but we'll get lunch soon, okay?"

"See you later Y/N," she shouted as I walked towards the door.

"Bye Scar!" I replied.

I walked into the office with a slight hop in my step and danced over towards my desk, "gooood morning Jessica," I said, placing my drink and my food down.

"Hey Y/N how was your weekend?" she asked, turning her chair to look at me.

"It was really lovely, Lizzie and I went to a spa in Cornwall," I smiled.

"Oh cute, full-body massages?" she asked.

I nodded, "yeah I got a full body and Lizzie got a back one," I replied.

"Nice, how comes Lizzie didn't get a full-body one?"

"Oh um- I wasn't going to tell anyone until we knew they were healthy but you're now the second person I'm going to tell in the span of 20 minutes-"

"Oh my god is Lizzie pregnant?" she asked quickly.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I hope so, we are trying for a baby and she's experiencing some early symptoms so it's looking really positive," I smiled.

Jess smiled widely, "you're going to be a Mum!" she said excitedly.

I nodded and smiled, "I hope so," I replied.

The day went by pretty smoothly. I had one meeting about a potential new book for a local street artist and then Jess and I created an inspiration board for the baby's bedroom during lunch. Following lunch, we then threw baby names back and forth with excitement. Next thing I knew it was five o'clock and I was leaving the office to get on the bus and tell Lizzie about my day. I was so excited to show her the vision board of the bedroom and tell her the baby names I really liked for both a boy and a girl (or both, it might be twins!!) I stopped by Waitrose on the way home and picked up some ingredients to make katsu chicken for dinner tonight as well as a zero-alcohol bottle of wine for Lizzie to drink.

"Honey I'm home," I said brightly as I walked through the house and to the kitchen where Lizzie was sitting on the kitchen island reading a book.

She smiled at me as I walked in and pecked my lips before turning her attention back to the book. She was still in her pjs from this morning but if it were me, I would be too.

"How was your day?" I asked as I started unpacking the shopping.

"It was okay," she replied, her attention more in the pages of the novel.

I smiled and washed my hands to start preparing dinner. I cut up the chicken thighs and started to season them as I told Lizzie about my day.

"So... I know we weren't going to tell anyone until we knew the baby was healthy and everything, but I told Scarlet and Jess today. Both were obviously very excited and during my lunch break Jess and I were planning the bedroom. I thought that we could do up the room next to our bedroom, so the baby is close at all times. I've got a cream themed planed, that way it works for both genders whether it's a boy or a girl- oh and I met the cutest little girl on the bus this morning, her name was Lucy, and she had your nose scrunch andddd it got me thinking that our baby might have your eyes or your nose scrunch and maybe they'll have my height and be the perfect mix of the both of us," I said dreaming about our future life together.

Lizzie put her book down and softly walked over to the fridge to get a drink. She pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses, holding one up for me.

"Oh, I got zero alcohol wine for you," I smiled.

Lizzie nodded, "I'm sure it'll be fine," she said, handing me a glass.

I took it graciously and furrowed my brows, "I don't want to tell you what to do but you should probably steer clear of alcohol just in case-"

"I'm not pregnant Y/N," she said bluntly.

"W-what?" I whispered.

"I'm not pregnant, it didn't work," she said taking a sip of her wine.

"But- h-how do you know," I said looking at her.

"I was up all night throwing up, so I took a test this morning and it was negative. I'm not pregnant, we're not having a baby, it didn't fucking work," she said taking another large gulp, her eyes becoming glossy.

"Lizzie..." I sighed walking round the counter to stand in front of her.

"I'm sorry," she said putting the glass down, "I'm so sorry," she repeated shakingly.

I shook my head and pulled her into a hug, "darling it's not your fault," I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek.

She relaxed in my arms and cried softly, holding onto me tightly, "I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

I shook my head and stroked her back softly, letting a few tears of my own fall down my face and onto her t-shirt. After a while of us both silently crying Lizzie pulled away and wiped her cheeks, looking at me with a sad face and puffy eyes.

"I really thought it was going to work," she mumbled.

I cupped her cheeks and smiled sadly, planting a long kiss on her head, "me too but it's okay, we can try again," I said reassuringly.

She nodded slowly, "and what if it doesn't work again?" she said shakingly.

"Then we'll cross that bridge-"

"What if it's me Y/N. What if we keep trying and we can't get pregnant because it's me that's the problem," she said sadly.

"Then I'll try. And if that doesn't work, we can adopt," I said stroking her cheek.

She nodded and bit her cheek, "I really wanted this to work."

"I know," I said, pulling her into another hug.

She took a shaky breath and pulled away with a sniffle, "I'm going to have a bath, call me when dinner is ready?"

I nodded with a small smile, "are you okay?"

She shook her head, "no," she whispered before walking upstairs towards the bathroom.

When I heard the door shut, my walls broke, and more tears started to fall down my face. I put my hand over my mouth to stop the sound of my sobs from echoing through the house.