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After a painful trek back to the Pogues boat Carlton's stomach wound was being stitched together with fishing wire by Cleo and Saylor was holding her fathers hand with her good arm as he laid flat on his back.
Her injured arm which was still purple and limp was being held into position by Sarah's overs shirt which was actually John Bs. The pain hadn't lessened in the slightest but she had became used to it and was pushing it aside to focus on her father.
Big John let out a deep groan of pain as he took in another breath, even something as simple as breathing hurt. "Hey, hey, hey, Pop. Hang in there, okay?" John B told his father as one of his hands ran through his long hair.
"We did it together, my boy." Big John spoke causing a familiar twang of pain to rise in his daughters chest, once again she was being left out. "Just like we drew up."
"Yeah, we did." John B nodded, sniffling as he watched his father get weaker by the second.
"Bird, Bird, Hey, Bird." Big John grabbed his sons hand in his own blood coated one before moving slightly to look at the Cameron girl. "Sarah." He also grabbed her hand.
"Hi, I'm here Big John." Sarah smiled at him, her eyes soft.
"Bird, you got to hang on to this one." Big John sent Sarah a smile as he finally accepted her as part of his family. "Bird, I know that I wasn't any great shakes as a father, but you... you were the best son any man could hope for."
Saylor bit down hard on her lip, she was happy her brother was being told something that he needed to hear, that he was getting a form of closure. She craved it so bad, she couldn't stop the jealousy from bubbling in her stomach. That was until her father did something she hadn't expected.
"And you, my sweet little girl." Big John turned his head to look at her with regret in his eyes. "I never treated you the way you deserved, I never showed you the love I felt for you."
Saylor had tears in her eyes as she listened to his words, it felt so unfamiliar for him to speak to her in this way and she hated that it took him dying for him to do so.
"Even after everything I put you through you put yourself at risk to save me. Even with the blonde hair I'd recognise my little girl anywhere. Quick thinking of you to unlock the windows." He saw her, she thought she had been quick enough when she snook in the room as he was being lectured by Singh but apparently not.
"Your the best parts of me, everything that I wish I could've been. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you my girl." He apologised sincerely as he squeezed her hand. "Do you forgive me?"
The question made her think back to the conversation she had with Carlton in the car on the way to the river. She turned her head to him and he knew exactly why. "For you." He reminded her.
"For me." She nodded at him taking a deep breath.
Did she forgive him? No.
So she wasn't going to tell him that, she wasn't going to risk her last words to him being a lie. "No." She answered honestly.
