A Gift Unto the King

Grant Us Strength

Vin awoke the next morning to the soft chirping of birds outside his chamber window. Golden sunlight streamed through the crack in the drapes, glowing warmly across the bed. Beside him, Carmilla quietly slept, gently cuddled up against his shoulder, his arm gingerly wrapped around her. Groggily, he wiped the sleep from his eyes and yawned. The princess stirred slightly from his movements, then settled. Vin hadn't slept well, and he assumed Carmilla hadn't either, so he elected not to disturb her just yet. It had been a rather eventful night for both of them, and the less time they needed to spend thinking about it, the better.

Vin stared at the ceiling, counting the knots in the wood to pass the time. He must have counted them a million times over, but, no matter how dull, anything to keep his mind occupied was a godsend. The unwelcomed memories from the night before had proved to be rather taxing on him, and he'd rather not deal with them more than absolutely necessary.

Once again, Carmilla stirred, and Vin glanced over to her. How strange it was to have her there beside him, sleeping peacefully, with her shiny, black curls draped loosely over his arm. The last person he'd shared this bed with was Lucas, and his slumber wasn't quite so delicate. But Vin never minded the snoring. To him, it just felt like home; like a lullaby meant only for him. Was it really so selfish to wish only to share this bed with him? Lucas had been his best friend ever since they were teenagers, and in all that time, he was the only person he'd ever fallen in love with. It felt like such a betrayal to him to lie with another, even if it was strictly political. It was a line that couldn't be uncrossed. Even as understanding as Lucas was about most things, Vin couldn't help but feel like he wouldn't exactly see his sleeping with Carmilla as something forgivable. Especially once their child was born—the thought of which made him wince.

He bit his lip hard, nearly enough to draw blood, as his mind drifted back to the way he'd spoken to Lucas on the night of his coronation. How cruel he'd been, how cold his words had rolled off his tongue. The pain that marked Lucas's face brought him a level of immeasurable shame that he could never hope to be forgiven for. But, even still, he prayed that one day Lucas would forgive him for that—for everything.

Part of him hoped that Carmilla was wrong—that she wouldn't conceive—so he could pretend this had never happened, and go back to the way things were before. However, the pit in his stomach told him that he could never be so lucky. Instead, he tried to focus on the bright side. If their efforts bore fruit, then the deal was done, and he'd never have to lie with her again. Valkevilla would have all the resources it could ever need, and an eternity's long allyship with a kingdom of immense mystical wealth. Of course, that also meant that any chance at a future with Lucas would be gone. Not that it wasn't already gone, but his heart still held hope, even if it was only a little.

Fuck. He thought, clenching his jaw and closing his eyes. Why did everything have to get so complicated? The deep well of frustration, and anger, and sadness, surged in his chest. Vin wasn't sure if he wanted to scream or cry or burn the castle to the ground. Regardless, even if he committed all three, he knew none of that would bring him the relief he craved. His brows furrowed, and he sighed.

"Mm-" Carmilla softly grunted, her body delicately arching as she stretched and opened her eyes.

Vin looked over to her as she tried to wake up and gather her bearings. She blinked a few times, adjusting to the brightness, before her bleary eyes finally fell to Vin's exhausted face.

"S-sorry." She yawned, noticing how closely snuggled up to him she was. "I must've gotten cold in the night. Please, forgive me." She lifted herself off of his arm, and propped herself up.

"Don't worry about it." Vin replied.

Carmilla looked down at the young king for a moment, his eyes heavy, dark circles taking up residency beneath them. His long hair was lightly tangled, and his jaw firmly clenched. She bit her bottom lip and sighed.