Life in a Police Officers Family

Panic Attacks and Nightmares

Grant's POV

It's been about 2 weeks since Johnathan was kidnapped and I can tell he is struggling with dealing with it. I called the school psychologist and asked if they could meet with him to see what things would be helpful for him that we could do at home and when she called me back, she said she believes he would benefit from seeing a therapist a couple times a week. She gives me the names and phone numbers of a few that she would recommend and after I get off the phone with her I call and make an appointment. I will do whatever I have to in order to help my kids.

It's a Tuesday morning and I don't have to work so I'm doing things around the house and getting caught up on the bills, when I get a phone call from the school

"Hello?" I answer in a growl, expecting it to be the principal because that is usually who calls, which means one of two of the kids in school are in trouble.

"Hi, this is Holly Winterfield, the nurse at your son's elementary school. I'm calling because Johnathan was brought to my office, with difficulty breathing. We did some calm breathing exercises and he is calmed down now, but he wanted to talk to you, are you able to speak with him?" she asks.

"Yes, of course. I will always be able to speak with my kids," I tell her, more rudely than I intended but I didn't appreciate how she asked me that.

"Daddy, I wanna come home," I hear my son cry on the other end of the line.

"Bud, the day just started, you don't think you can stay just a bit longer?" I ask, I will go pick him up if he really can't handle it, but I have picked him up early from school about 5 times out of the 7 days that he has been in school since he was kidnapped. I want to have him try to stick it out if he can.

"I can't, I had an accident, I need new clothes. "Please daddy, can you just come bring me home?" he cries.

"Okay Bud, I'll be there in a few minutes with new pants and you can take a shower when you get home. I'll see you soon. Keep doing those breathing exercises, breathing in for a count of 4, holding for a count of 2, breathing out for a count of 4, and holding for a count of 2. Keep doing that until I get there, okay?" I tell him.

"Yes daddy, but please hurry, I need you," I can tell he is almost in another panic attack and I have already grabbed my keys and am in the truck. As I'm driving to the school. I talk him through the breathing exercise and I arrive at the school and we hang up.

When he sees me, when I walk into the nurses office, he runs to me and hugs me and won't let me go. I hand him the pants I brought him,

"Here are your pants bud, go change so we can head home," I tell him.

He shakes his head no, "I don't wanna go in the bathroom alone, can you come with me and help me?" he says into my stomach, as he is still hugging me and won't let go.

"Okay," I say and go help my oldest son change his pants and we head to my truck to head home.

All the way home he is crying, but I can tell he is doing his breathing exercise and I just reach back with my hand and allow him to hold it. I feel so helpless seeing my boy like this.

When we get home, he wants me to carry him into the house. I do and bring him to the bathroom. I ask him if he wants me to get him his pajamas or if he just wants to change back into the pants that I had brought him, he says he wants his pajamas. I make sure the water is at the right temperature and go to get his pajamas as he gets undressed and gets in the shower. I put them on the counter and hang up a fresh towel for when he gets out and then I go downstairs to start a load of laundry.

After Johnathan is finished with his shower, he comes down and I put a guided meditation tape on and we both lay down on the couch to listen to it, and before I know it, my phone is ringing......