It was 10:00 when I finally made it to the seventh floor and collapsed backward onto the bed. It had been a long day and it took its toll. I had promised myself I would consider the future once the banquet was over. Technically, this night wasn't truly over, but I knew I couldn't put the decisions off much longer. I relaxed my muscles; they had been taut all day. I felt the stress leave as I closed my eyes. An image of Jennie formed, 'and I'll always love Kai.' It echoed in my skull. I tried to see Soojoo, but her image kept getting replaced. I remembered how it felt to hold Jennie. I sang to her. I snapped up to a sitting position, eyes wide, my muscles tense again, loaded with guilt.
I was startled by a quiet knock at the door. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and headed to the door. I was about to open it when I heard another knock, but not from the hall door as I had originally thought. It was the door between Jennie's room and mine. My heart pounded hard and my throat thickened. I was hoping I wouldn't see her until morning. Too much was going through my head and I didn't particularly like myself right now. I was crapping all over what Soojoo and I had built. I opened the door slowly and kind of blocked the entry with my body. Jennie didn't attempt to enter.
"Hi," she said kindly. Her hands came together loosely in front of her. It looked defensive in response to me blocking the door. I felt worse. My first impulse was to yell at her, my second was to the slam the door closed. Instead, I took a step back and let her in. My problems were not hers.
"Hi," I returned. My greeting was more generic. Jennie entered and I closed the door. I should have left it open. With it closed I felt trapped. I fidgeted until I decided to fold my arms in front of me and lean against the wall.
"Guilt?" Jennie asked softly. My arms fell down at her question. I put my hands in my pockets as I tried to come up with some kind of response. I had to look away. Her eyes were too caring.
"I'm sorry." It was a shitty response. It was packed full of cop out. I should have just told her to leave.
"I'm not," Jennie said and sat on my bed. She wasn't leaving. I had to look back at her or kick her out. One or the other. I looked back and shame filled me. "Soojoo was incredible. I can see it in everything you do. The way you care, the way you make my problems your own. She nurtured that in you. I wouldn't have you any other way."
"It hurts," I said truthfully, "I'm forgetting what she looks like. What does that make me?"
"Human" Jennie answered.
"I see you instead," I said, "it's tearing me up, dishonoring her like that."
"You sang for me," she said, nodding. My eyes swelled and I closed them to hold it all in. "It was lovely," she added.
"Jaesuk set me up," I said stupidly. Jennie laughed which made me smile.
"You sang to me," she clarified.
"Yes," I sighed, "why did it feel like I was insulting her?"
"Because you love her" Jennie said simply, "you will always love her. I don't want you to ever stop loving her." she stood and stepped towards me. "I want you to make room for me though."
"I already have," I said quietly.
"Good," Jennie smiled, "I've made room for you, Jisoo" Her hand softly found the back of my neck and gently pulled my lips down to hers. 'I love you, Soojoo' I thought as Jennie's lips met mine. 'I love you, Jennie,' I thought as Jennie's tenderness engulfed me. I wrapped my hands around her and pulled her closer and returned the kiss as passion invaded. It was a different passion, Jennie's passion. Separate from what I had felt with Soojoo. Soojoo would always have my past, I decided to give Jennie my future.
I lifted Jennie into my arms, she was lighter than I had expected. Her giggle tickled my ears. I laid her on the bed and crawled up her body and kissed her again. She tentatively licked my lower lip and our passion grew. Our tongues entwined as we enjoyed each other's desire. I fumbled with the buttons on the front of her blouse, trying desperately not to break away from her soft lips. We ended up laughing as we got all tangled up in each other's clothes.
Jennie pushed me off her and stood up smiling, her clothes all askew. I watched as her blouse hit the floor, followed quickly by her flowery blue skirt. She stood before me confidently in white panties and bra. I realized I was staring, and started to quickly undress. I threw my shirt over the bed and a bra hit me in the face. Jennie had a sly smile as I took in her perky breasts. They were firm, and incredibly cute. I tossed her bra after my shirt, and raised my hips to remove my pants. Jennie laughed and I glanced down to see my nipples poking proudly though my sleeveless undershirt.
Jennie reached over and shut off the light and crawled onto the bed as I lost my underwear. I felt a small tinge of guilt when her naked body folded into mine. I think she felt the tension and she slowed down.
"Second thoughts?" Jennie asked compassionately. I think she would have stopped right then and there if I had asked her.
"It's just hard," I said catching my breath. I wanted this and I wanted it to be with Jennie. I needed to move Soojoo out of the way without losing her.
"Yes it is," Jennie joked as her fingers stroked my nipple.
"That's not what I meant," I said with humor in my voice. Her hand slammed the passion back into me. I groaned a bit.
"I know what you meant," Jennie whispered in my ear as she removed her hand, "I'll wait if you want me to. I'll wait as long as you need."
"I don't want to wait," I said and kissed her lips. I felt them smile and my heart jumped at her joy. She rose and straddled me. Her hand led my fingers between her legs and she lowered herself. My moan matched hers as I entered her. We fit well together. She leaned forward with me inside her. Her hands cradled my face, my left hand caressed her side.
"I loved when you sang to me," Jennie cooed as she moved her hips slowly, "it was so beautiful. I knew then, I wanted to be right where I am now." She kissed me, then placed her forehead on mine, and concentrated on her movements, her breathing increasing. I lowered my left hand, finding her little butt and helping her move. The sensations were burning into me, her need forcing mine forward. Unexpectedly, her body went rigid and she breathed a low moan onto my lips. I held her as she collapsed into me, little tremors forcing her legs taut, then loose. I lifted her slightly and rolled her onto her back, while remaining coupled. She gave a sated sigh, and I could feel her smile in the dark.
"I'm sorry," Jennie said languorously, "that was kind of greedy." I felt her suppressing a chuckle which forced me to smile.
"It was beautiful," I said truthfully, "feeling you let go like that." She laughed lightly, reaching up and stroking my cheek.
"It took nine years." I stroked the side of her cheek as Jennie spoke. I felt a slight wetness there. I felt her hips move, exciting me again. "I won't let you wait that long." Our lips met, passion flooding me again. My hips raised then lowered slowly, as our sexes met. Her moans, as we grind, brought me back to the cusp. Her breathing increased and I felt her tremors building again. I dropped my lips to her shoulder and lost myself in her. My whole body trembled as I gave myself to her, her body responding like mine. For a brief moment, there was nothing but us. It was a heaven I wasn't sure I deserved, but I greedily took.
When my mind returned, I rolled onto my side taking Jennie with me. I ran my hand across her cheek, pushing the sweaty hair I found there behind her ear. I kissed her forehead.
"I was contemplating my future before you came in," I said softly. I ran my hand down her arm and entwined my fingers in hers.
"What are you planning?" Jennie asked.
"I thought I was going to run," I answered, "now...I could become a nuisance, you know." Jennie's hand ran down my side and stopped on my ass, which she squeezed lightly.
"Stay," was all Jennie said. She was the only one who understood. I wasn't going anywhere. I had made room for her. It wasn't fair to make Jennie share, but I was bit jealous of Kai as well. I was comfortable in her arms. We fit well together.
"I plan to," I said, and then smiled, "greed is not necessarily a bad thing." I loved making her laugh.
