(i'm worried) it will always be you

Chapter 5 - Petrichor and old beginnings

"Sorry, what did you say?" Karl asked, looking up. The little smile on his face faded, being replaced with a look of guilt, when he saw Sapnap's eyes glued to his phone. Karl slipped it into his pocket, like taking it out of Sapnap's sight would make him forget.

"Nothing important." Sapnap said quietly, turning around to face his suitcase again. He wanted to get as much of his stuff packed tonight as possible, hoping to avoid the stress of doing it at the last second.

"That was my sister." Karl said, unprompted.

Sapnap's trust issues were screaming liar, liar, liar. He tried to get the rational part of his brain- the part he actually wanted to listen to for once- to assure him that Karl is not Cleo and has done nothing to betray his trust.

"Cool." Sapnap said through a sigh under his breath.

Maybe if he were a stronger man, he would actually tell Karl about the doubts he was having. Maybe if he were a braver man, he would just believe Karl was telling him the truth.

The air felt a bit heavier now, like the silence had more weight to it.

A crack of thunder echoed off the shoreline and Sapnap decided he was going to blame the shift in atmosphere on the cold front moving in.

"Maybe we won't be going out tonight after all." Karl changed the subject, crawling out of Sapnap's bed, and walked to the open window.

The sheer white curtains were dancing around Karl from the occasional gusts of wind. It almost looked like Karl was wearing some type of flowy gown, the material swallowing him up. Sapnap thought he looked beautiful. He also feared he might get swept away by the breeze if he got too close.

"I don't think a little rain is going to stop anyone from bar hopping." Sapnap shrugged, folding another t-shirt and lazily tossing it into his open suitcase.

"Won't stop you from bar hopping?" Karl asked with a grin and raised eyebrows, like he was trying to sell Sapnap on the idea like a used car salesman.

"What's your obsession with getting me drunk? What, you planning to take advantage of me or something?" Sapnap scoffed. His sour mindset must've polluted his tone, because what he intended to be a joke seemed to rub Karl the wrong way.

"No, I just-" Karl cut himself off with something between a groan and a sigh.

Sapnap tossed his last t-shirt into the suitcase, giving up completely on trying to fold them at some point. He turned around to watch Karl fall backwards on his bed, arms spread out like he was making snow angels.

"Just what? Want me drunk so we can talk about the big house with the cats and-"

"So we can talk about Josh." Karl interrupted.

Sapnap physically felt his heart plummet to the ground, creating an earth-shattering thud when it landed. The shockwave made Sapnap feel a bit unsteady on his feet.

His stupid trust issues were now yelling I told you so and the reasonable part of his brain was nowhere to be found.

"Why do I need to be drunk for that?" Sapnap asked, somewhat rhetorically. The way his tone had hardened was indication enough of why Karl would rather have this conversation after a few drinks.

"You're more honest when you're drunk. You say all the things that you never do when you're sober." Karl answered, not taking the hint that Sapnap didn't want an answer- didn't want to continue this conversation.

"Just ask me whatever you wanted to ask me." Sapnap reverted to his monotone expression, wishing he hadn't thrown all his shirts in the suitcase so hastily, leaving him with nothing to use as a distraction.