Farnese. (Francesco Pazzi x Reader)

Chapter Seventeen

"Do you want to marry me, Y/N?" Francesco whispered the question.

"Well, yes... but there are certain things we must sort out beforehand."

"Such as?"

"Well, we would start by discussing terms of our marriage. Once the two of us agree, you will have to meet my father and he, and Leonardo, will have to agree. I'll have to figure out the next moves in my career, too. We can then publicly announce the engagement."

"Your consultation career?" Francesco asked.

"My father had hoped it would be more than consultation," Y/N spoke quietly, "Over the past few months he has been exploring the possibility of having his position split, in order for me to inherit a title."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when father steps down or passes away, he would like Leonardo to become Head of the Papal Armies and me to become Head of the Siena Armies... he believes I could."

"Is it a dangerous position?" Francesco was looking down at her now.

"Not terribly so -- not any more dangerous than being the daughter and private consult to one of the strongest military men in Italy. Unless Siena marches, but we won't anytime soon, I think."

Francesco looked back at the fresco, "So, what are these terms you'd have me agree to?"

"We don't have to discuss it now, Francesco... it's late, and we're in a house of God."

"I have a feeling God will hear us either way," Francesco joked, squeezing her hand, "Come on, I won't be able to sleep."

Y/N sat up, and turned to him, "Well, there are certain things I haven't told you about me, which I fear... well, I never thought I would tell them to anyone, but you mean so much to me, and... I fear you may not love me after I tell you."

His face grew serious, but he firmly held her hand.

"Do you know why I came to Florence?" Y/N asked softly.

"No, not exactly."

"Well, when I was twelve, we were at war with the Orsini. I was spending my days helping the soldiers on camp prepare -- and on this particular day, I was helping to feed the horses. The man who was with me, Pietro, stepped away to gather more water -- he was away for just a moment when three men came and threw a sack over me. They tossed me into a grain cart and bound my wrists and ankles. After a few hours, we got to the Orsini base and they brought me to a battle tent, where they took off the sack. I met Jacopo d'Orsini, Clarice's father. He had ordered my kidnapping, to negotiate my release in exchange for my father to surrender... but he told the men who took me that they--" Her voice cracked as she suppressed a tear, "They could do what they wanted with me until the negotiations were done."

She looked at Francesco's face, and saw something tense in his jaw.

She continued, "My father's men attacked as soon as they noticed I was missing from camp. The man who found me, Nardo, was the same man who taught me to use a blade. He cleaned the blood off of me, and clothed me, and swore he would never tell anyone about the condition he found me in. He told me his sister, too, had been violated... and she had to become a nun after her fiance left her... he brought me back to my father, and I didn't speak for weeks. I didn't tell anyone what happened until Leonardo came home from school to see me. I told him."

Y/N was crying, or rather her eyes were dispensing tears, but she spoke unwaveringly.

"Then, I told Father Gasparo in confession, and he told me that I did not need to ask for God's forgiveness -- that God knew I was still pure in soul. He told me that I never needed to speak of it again, and God would understand that too."

"Why are you telling me?" His voice was strained, and she could see tears in his eyes.

"Because... after I told Leo and Gasparo, they wanted me to be examined by a physician. I wouldn't allow any of the doctors near me, but they got a Nun to come from Rome to see me. She informed me that the damage caused by the men would likely leave me unable to bear children of my own."

Francesco didn't react, but she could see him swallow dryly and that same tensing in his jaw.

"I need you to say something," Y/N whispered.

"I love you," Francesco blurted out, tears falling down his face, "I love you."

Y/N raised a hand to his cheek, and wiped tears away with her thumb, "Will you be able to be happy without children of your own? Don't you want to be a father one day?"

"Not as much as I need you," Francesco spoke, pulling her close. The arm of the pew separated them, now stood, pulling her into an embrace. She leaned her head against his chest, and he enveloped her in his arms. She felt him kiss the top of her head.

"So, you still want to marry?" Y/N asked, looking up at him.

"Yes," Francesco nodded, "Absolutely. With whatever terms you have."

"Okay, then I should tell you now that you will be required to refer to me only as Y/N the Great in public."

He laughed, thankful for her joke, as he leaned in to kiss her. After a few minutes, Y/N pulled away, and smiled at him, "I think God may start to get upset if we continue."

"Perhaps."