Blood Within Myself//Gerard Way

Memories (8)

We walked out to the car and I sat down next to Gerard. He hugged me when we got in the car. "Sorry for her." He whispered. "It's fine Gee." I smiled. "Thanks for defending me Frankie." I smiled and turned to look at him. He was in the back seat behind me. "Don't thank me." He shrugged. "No really, you only defended me when she was talking about you too. You didn't have to do that." I looked at him. "Always gotta defend my girls." He smiled and lightly smacked my head. "Thanks Frankie." I smiled. Part of me wants something with Frank so bad, but I love Gerard. I've loved Gerard for years. "Gerard let's go get comics." Ray said to Gee. "Ok fine." Gerard laughed and pulled into the comic store. "Gerard do you never get tired of this place? You literally work here." Mikey said to Gee from the backseat. "I don't know, I like this place." Gerard smiled. God I love that smile. "I know you aren't really into this stuff Ellie, if you want I can walk you over to the clothing shop over there instead." Gerard said to me as everyone got out of the car. "No it's okay Gee." I smiled. I haven't been to that clothing shop since I was like 13, the last time we were there I went with him and Donna, clothes shopping. My mom was struggling with money and Donna offered to take me and my brother to get school clothes. It was also the last day I ever talked to Gerard before now.

FLASHBACK:
Ellie walked into the small store, Gerard and Donna following behind her. The small store seemed so large. Being 13 years old everything seems so big. "This ones pretty Ellie!" Gerard handed Ellie a shirt. "This ones pink! You like pink Ellie!" Gerard smiled. "I do like pink." Ellie smiled back. Pink was her favorite color, and Gerard knew that, Gerard knew everything about her. He's an observer. He has watched Eleanors moves since they were little. He knows everything from her favorite color, to the way she carries herself. He watches her moves. He knows how she moves her hands, how she walks, how her eyes scrunch when she's happy, and how she parts her hair everyday. He knows the way she smiles. He knows how she places her hands when she's sitting. How she hates when her hair is on one side. How she taps her fingers on her thighs when music she likes turns on. How she smiles when Frank's around. When Frank's around. It's always when Frank's around. She likes Frank. He knows she likes Frank. But he knows she likes him too. She likes Frank and Gerard. How does one like both?

FLASHBACK OVER:
"Are you sure? I can take you in there El's." He smiled at me. Gerard is beautiful. "Bad memories." I shrugged. "Makes sense, I remember." He said and looked at me. I sat in the parking lot with Gerard waiting for the boys. He was tired of being in the comic place. He's there a lot. The sun was setting, and the lighting looked beautiful against Gerard's skin, the light from the sunset made his hazel eyes look bright. I wanted to kiss him. "Gerard.." I looked at him. "Hm?" He turned his head to me. I just kissed him. We pulled away from the kiss and he just smiled. His real smile. The smile that I adore. Beautiful boy. "I like you Ellie." Gerard looked at my eyes. I love you Gee. No to soon. "I like you too." I smiled and looked at him. Frank came out as we said that. "Wooo! Finally! How long have y'all been waiting to say that? 6 years?" He sat next to Gee. "Shut up." Gerard laughed. Frank looked at me. "Congrats girly, he likes you back." Frank smiled at me. I just smiled. What do you say to the guy who said he loved you whenever he is congratulating you on another guy? "Frankie let's talk." I said and stood up. "Gerard I'll talk to you about this later."
I kissed his cheek. "Ok, take your time sugar." He smiled. "What's up?" Frank said to me as we walked around the corner of the comic store. "Frankie I know we already somewhat discussed this but, I still feel guilty." I looked down. "Hey hey look at me." He lifted my head up. "Don't feel guilty, I'm you and Gee's biggest fan." He laughed. "But you.." Tears just fell. "I know what I said. I did feel that way, but you have to understand that in the moment, I was feeling a lot of things." He looked at me. "Frank you know when we were kids, and you hung out with Gee and you would like, you know, make fun of me." I looked at Frankie.

FLASHBACK:
"Your hair doesn't look good like that Ellie." Frankie looked at Ellie. "What?" Ellie looked back at the boy. One of the boys she liked. 13 year old bliss. That's all it was. When you are a kid you don't understand the concept, and she liked well, Gerard and Frank. "It's curly." Frank walked by her and pulled her hair. He made fun of the girl often, not to be mean but because he was a boy. And that's just what boys do. "Ow!" Ellie grabbed her head. "Oh cry about it." He said to the girl, he didn't actually care about her hair, he just wanted to say something. Ellie just walked the other way. She did cry about it, feeling insecure about it, even if Frank just made jokes with her, they still hurt her. "Your hair is pretty." Gerard walked in. He was looking at the pretty girls hair. He loved the way the curls fell on the girls shoulders. She usually straightens her hair, but he loves the way it looks either way. "Thanks." She shrugged. "No really!" He said to her. "Mhm." She smiled. She sat on the bed and talked to him. "Ellie have you ever kissed someone?" Gerard looked at the girl. "No?" She looked at him. Gerard then turned and pecked her on the lips. "Now you have." He smiled. That was her first kiss.

FLASHBACK OVER:
"I remember that, I was an asshole." He laughed. "And I liked you." I laughed. "Ellie that's insane I was so mean." Frank laughed too. "But then when you told me in the bathroom that you loved me, I guess middle school me was torn apart." I shrugged. "Ellie, you like Gerard?" He looked at me. "Yes a lot, and I feel bad because if you still like me-" Frank cut me off. "I have a girlfriend Ellie." He smiled. "Calm your tits girl." He laughed. I was relieved. "Ok."
I smiled and hugged him. "You know I love you, but as my sister." He smiled. "I know." I smiled too.

We went back to the car and drove everyone home. I stayed at Gee and Mikey's house. I stayed in Mikey's room per usual. He lended me his clothes again. "You like my brother?" Mikey smiled at me as I laid down. "I do." I smiled too. "So if you become my sister, we would be able to do everything together." Mikey smiled. "Yes Mikey, we do everything together regardless." I laughed. "Yeah but you know? We can like hang out all the time, and if you and Gerard have kids then I'll be an uncle." Mikey smiled. "Even if I'm not with Gee you'll probably still have nieces and nephews Mikey." I said to him. "But I want you to be with my brother." Mikey looked at me. "I want to be with your brother too." I said to him. "If my brother doesn't get with you and have kids then I won't love the kids." Mikey said and shrugged. "Slow down Mikes." I laughed. "We are still in high school." I laughed. "Yeah but I mean in the future." Mikey laughed. We talked all night and then I fell asleep.