Hello, friends! This is inspired by the song Breath Me by Sia - It's a song that always hits me right in the gut whenever I hear it, and I've been wanting to write something for a while that involves it in some way.
***There are mentions of self harm, and well as mentions of blood***
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It had been a long time since Emma had felt this low. Her life was good. Hectic, but good. Over the years, she's discovered that she has magic; has found her parents and the son she gave up all those years ago. She's made friends with Ruby and Belle, and she's even become closer with Regina.
Emma thought that she and Regina had made progress in the mines, and something had definitely happened on Hook's ship, and then in Neverland.
She thinks about it often, late at night when she's feeling lonely and she can't sleep on the hard bed in her parents' loft. It's at least more comfortable than a cell bed, even the ones at Storybrooke Police Department.
She wants to get out. Needs to get out. But she doesn't. She can't.
The last time she tried...well, it didn't end well.
Emma gets out of bed, throwing on a pair of black leggings, a sports bra, red hoodie, beanie and a pair of tennis shoes. She grabs her ear buds from her bedside table and sneaks out the front door, leaving her parents behind.
She feels like she can breathe again once she's outside in the crisp air. It's Spring in Maine and still chilly in the mornings; Emma embraces it as she listens to a Green Day playlist and runs down the sidewalk of Maine Street towards the beach. Sand is a bitch to run in, but Emma is pissed off just enough to push through it. Especially when she sees that stupid ship still parked at the harbor.
Three weeks ago, Hook told her that he would be leaving soon. She should have known that the slimeball was lying, given her built in superpower, but she ignored it. It was all too much. She couldn't be around him for longer than necessary.
Emma stops once she makes it to the forest at the edge of the beach and empties the contents of her stomach.
She's tried time and time again to forget about Hook and that night, but she can't. It won't leave her mind no matter what she does or how high she gets, and the alcohol just seems to make it worse.
God, she was so stupid.
Emma spits a few more times, wishing she had something to wash her mouth out with. She'll have to deal with it for now. She leans against a tree to catch her breath, her head against the bark. She's there for a few minutes, waiting for the song to end and then she's running again, farther into the forest.
She's not sure when she changed routes or when she had stopped running, but the thoughts became too much. The memories were too dark, too much to bear. Still too fresh.
Emma was sitting on the ground now, her hair tied up into a bun and her hands covered in dirt. Tears were falling down her face and the blade in her hand was shaking. She really hated herself.
Flashes of that night went through her mind.
Dancing, laughing, drinking. It was all a fun night.
Until it wasn't.
It wasn't that Emma didn't want to have sex with Hook, but she thought it would help. A tall brunette with pretty eyes and a dashing smile. She laughed through her tears and sucked her teeth. This was so stupid. Why the hell was she here in the woods at 8 in the morning?
Images flashed in her head again.
Kissing Hook in the bathroom, his good hand on her ass while his hook dug into her hip. She had a scar there now. It was a little fun at the time; adventurous, scandalous. Having someone who was willing to hand themselves over. Someone to distract her.
