Hermitcraft 9: Savage Lands (book 3)

6: Fall of Thundertop

"What are you doing?" I asked. Jimmy shushed me, frustrating me but making me more curious.

After a moment they dumped a pile of little metal things onto my desk.

"That should be all of the bugs." Jimmy said, dusting his hands off.

"Why'd you need to do that?" I asked.

"We need to talk about these papers." he said, motioning to the coup plans on my table. I winced.

"Who is I, G, and P?" he asked.

"I am not at the liberty to say." I said. Jimmy snorted.

"We want to HELP, dumbass. Where can you put the police force on in this?"

I frowned.

"Seriously?" I asked. Sausage nodded.

"Yes. Seriously."

"Well... you've probably heard of King Impulse SV, right?" I asked hesitantly. They nodded.

"Well, that's who I is. G is Gem, an elf that washed up on shore as a baby that he took in as his own." I explained. Jimmys eyes went wide.

"He's still ALIVE!? How?" he asked, shocked. I shrugged.

"Dwarves live a long time." I said.

"And who's P?" Sausage asked.

"Our secret weapon."

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(Pearl)

Their 'secret weapon' was not happy to be called that.

I didn't want to be seen as a weapon anymore, I just wanted to be seen as a human being. But when you go red and start killing people, and since the crazier ones started with cannibalism, that definition kinda goes out the window.

Heh. Out the window. I've gotten kills that way.

Anyways, back to our plans to overthrow Ren and whatnot.

"We have the BPC on our side now, according to Mumbo. I guess... I guess we just make the announcement. Of independence, I mean." Impulse said. Gem and Mumbo nodded in agreement.

"I'll call over Jimmy." Mumbo said, picking up the phone and dialing his number.

It had been a few days since the incident at Mumbo's manor. We had been planning, writing our own constitution, setting up a new government, etc.

A few minutes later, Jimmy, the Sheriff of Boatem City, walked in. Sausage wasn't with him, instead there was a newscast crew. Keralis, I think the cameraman's name was. He quickly set up a streaming set in front of Mumbo's desk. Me, Impulse, Gem, and Jimmy took our seats around Mumbo.

"Alright, sweet faces... live in three... two... one... go." Keralis said. Mumbo took a deep breath and began.

"Good evening, friends around and in Boatem. We've had a long standoff with news reporters, King Ren, and his assassins. We've been trying to peacefully resolve the so-called "Hotguy Incident", but Ren refuses to punish him. Instead, he has punished Boatem further by raising our taxes again. But enough is enough. Today, on November 19 of the year of 2023, Boatem is now its own independent nation. I will be our Interim President until we can hold a proper election. Sitting next to me is my 'court', or rather Senate. Impulse SV was once King of Boatem before Ren's ancestors overthrew him. Gem here is his daughter, and she will serve as my advisor and head of foreign relations. Sheriff Jimmy Solidarity will stay at his post, but as Sheriff of the entire police force of our nation. Finally, we have Pearl. She will serve as our general and head of military. She has more experience in war than any man or woman in Ren's military.

"As I close this broadcast, I have a message for both President Doc and King Ren. First, to Doc: you have an ally in Boatem if you wish. We will send the forces we can to help you defend your liberty. And Ren: we don't wish for peace. We're coming for you. We won't stop until you are dead and we bring and end to the Dogwarts Regime. Watch your back, 'your highness.'"

Keralis cut the stream and gave us the thumbs up.

"Great speech, sweet face! I got chills just listening to it, especially at the part about coming for Ren." he said cheerfully as he packed up. Mumbo rubbed his forehead. Jimmy put a comporting hand on his shoulder.

"I may have just started a world war..." he mumbled. I shook my head.

"This? This isn't a world war. This is a civil war. Trust me, I've seen both." I assured him.

"Shit... guys, you may wanna hear this." Impulse suddenly said, flicking on the TV.

"Welcome back to War Zone, where we give 24/7 updates on whatever wars are in progress. Boy, do we have a package for you today. Boatem has left the Union, allying themselves with The Perimeter and giving a chilling threat to his highness DIRECTLY. What is King Ren going to do about this development?

"In The Perimeter, The Royal Army suffered an embarrassing loss. They attempted what Queen Ran tried in the first Dogwarts war: a Lightning War, or marching right past the opposition and storming the capital. Ren attempted this, but Perimeter forces cut them off right outside the Capital and absolute massacred our military. The Royal Army is retreating back to Perimeter City, the only city they've managed to capture thus far. And... um.

"I'm not sure what to think of this, folks... the state of Thundertop no longer exists. The barbarians of The Savage Lands have launched a surprise attack on the capital city of Stratos and took the city in a matter of minutes. Police stood no chance. There were no survivors.

"It looks like we're fighting a three-front war here, folks. Will our great empire survive this? Or will it fall like the empires of old? This is VintageBeef from Hermitcity News, signing off."

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(Cleo)

I clutched the DNA tests in trembling hands.

I dropped it on the table and clumsily picked up the phone and dialed a number I'd been avoiding for years. Before I could change my mind, I dialed it. I was surprised at how quickly he picked up the phone.

"Hello? Who is this?" Etho asked.

"Before you hang up, I have something important to tell you." I blurted. I heard him swear colorfully from the other end.

"Cleo? Damnit... it's been a while, huh?" he asked, voice flat. I winced at the bluntness.

"I'm sorry to bug you, but... I found them." I said. Silence.

"Found who?"

"Our sons. It's Scar and Bdubs. They're both on the court with me." I explained. He swore again.

"I... I don't know what to do, Etho." I said. I heard him chuckle.

"Am I understanding this right? You need my help?" he asked. I sighed.

"Yes."

"I'll help, if you admit it." he said smugly. I glared at the phone.

"Etho, I need your help." I got out. He laughed. Genuinely, this time.

"Alright. I'm on my way. Hopefully I can get through the the blockade..." he said, trailing off. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Etho. I don't know how to repay you." I said. He chuckled.

"Thank me later."

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(Scar)

"I have a special assignment for you, Hotguy. If you succeed, you will be redeemed for what happened in Boatem." Ren said. I rose from my knee.

"Anything." I said, determined. He handed me a photo.

"I should've had him killed right away. I need you to do it." he said. I studied the photo. I recognized him vaguely.

"I'll get it done sir. In and out." I said. Ren smiled viciously.

"Good. Bring me the head of Impulse SV, Sir Scar."