Swallow Your Affection

House Conspiracy

"Tech- mate- no- you're letting the crows in-" Phil drags him back inside, but doesn't have the strength to set Techno on his feet, so his limp body is just laying on the floor, "Techno, buddy you don't need to get so embarrassed- it's a nice thing to have in your life. And I'm not judging, cause you know what my love life is like."

Techno groans, "Phil- Phil if you keep talking I'm going to kick your old man body outside-"

"This old man body can take you in any fight and you know that."

"I hate that you're partially correct."

A few more cackles are let out, and Techno finally rolls over staring up at the ceiling before looking to Phil standing above him with his smug smile.

The unspoken question is there.

And Techno groans again before rubbing his hand down his face, "It's...." Techno slids both hands onto his face and just rests them there, "It's complicated-"

Phil plops down next to Techno cross legged.

Phil has time.

"I hate the fact that I could get convinced to do anything. It's too much power over my head."

Phil laughs, watching a crow hop on Techno's chest as though it too was listening intently.

But that was it.

Techno didn't farther elaborate, or farther explain, merely laying on the floor, his arms now resting over his face as he sat in shame.

"If... you got to asked kill me, would you?"

Techno bites his lip, peeling his arms off his head enough to look at Phil. The red of his eyes are intense.

"I...." his eyes flicker to Phil's hands before back to his eyes, "I genuinely can't answer that."

"Damn son- you're got good." Phil squints at him.

Techno groans and recovers his face with his arms.

"I hate being so.... mushy." Techno grunts, "I think I get it from my dad."

"Adopted or biological?" Phil squints, "Because either way works."

"I know- You're both saps." Techno laughs, "Big stupid saps that do all that dumb emotional jigsaw solving."

Phil cackles again, "To be fair, and don't take this the wrong way, if Kristen asked me to kill you, I would oblige. So we're both got good."

Techno grunts in acknowledgement. He already knows that.

"Yeah... but your situation is different." Techno squints at him, pulling himself off the floor to sit cross legged at Phil, "You're like, contractually obligated to comply-"

"Pfft- yeah, but contractually or not-"

"Wow. What a great friend." Techno deapans at Phil.

"A better lover-" Phil snarks, before poking Techno in the abs, "Which I think is another thing you pick up from your old man."

"Puh- lease Phil. My mind would have developed this way regardless of your influence, I'm incredibly independent. And gain many of my personality traits from genetics as opposed to environments."

"Rawr- just born wild like that-" Phil cackles, wiggling around when Techno trys to punch him.

"You sarcastic old man-"

"Respect your elders son-"

"I defy all authority and you know this." Techno grunts.

Phil laughs before looking him in the eyes and saying, "Okay, so, I'm glad you're not as oblivious as you make yourself seem to be."

Techno grunts, unhappy with the swing back to their original conversation.

"Cause I kinda thought you were unaware." Phil finishes.

"I wish I was unaware." Techno frowns.

"It wouldn't be fun if you both were unaware." Phil rolls his eyes, "The person of your interest is, as far as I've observed, completely oblivious to most, if not all of your wooing tactics."

"Wooing??" Techno clenches his teeth and points a finger, "I do not-"

"Yes, you do-" Phil grins, "Pelts...? Everywhere??"

Techno flinches at the looks Phil fixes him, "Do you know nothing about your psychology and biology?"

"I am very aware of both respective subjects."

"Technoblade. You're a piglin hybrid- do you know what piglins do when they are attempting to convince a potential mate to stay with them??"

Techno clicks it together before Phil confirms it, but Phil still says it, "They give them pelts, to show them how reliable they can be to provide a safe place."

Techno isn't even looking at Phil anymore.

"Lemme guess you 'just wanted to make the place more comfortable'"

Techno seriously isn't looking anymore.

He did 'want to make you more comfortable.'

You get so cold.

And...

You need to.

Be comfortable.

Techno huffs, "Okay so I do one thing."

Phil gives him a blank look.

"Okay maybe I do some other things! But I'm not... wooing anyone."

"Because who you're wooing is denser then you."

Techno squints at Phil, and Phil squints right back before cackling.

"Come on Tech- you gotta step up your game."

"I will do no such thing. Because, no such thing ever needs to happen."

"Uh huh."

Techno throws another hapless punch at Phil, who ducks it and goes to say something else, before the upstairs floor creaks, and they both pause.

"Awakeneth your snooze pal has." Phil croans.

"Shush, you have memory issues, let me lay you down for bed." Techno puts his entire hand on Phil's face- who immediately bitch slaps him in retaliation.

Techno doesn't flinch, keeping his hand locked on Phil's face as the winged man wriggles around to break free.

The ladder creaks and he can tell you've set foot in the room.

"Heyyyy guys. Mornin." You say, and Techno looks over to catch sight of you, clothing all kinds of wrinkled, a larger pelt wrapped around your shoulders as you moneyed farther into the room, "I'm not even gonna ask."

"Morniinnnn..." Techno calls back, eyes locked on you until you sit down near the fire.

Abruptly Techno remembers what he was doing, glancing at Phil, who was already staring at him with that smirk of his, having peeled Techno's hand off his face.

A few closed mouth laughs come from Phil before Techno is frowning and shoving his face back into the blonde's face.

Phil's muffled yells fill the air, wriggling around and fighting for freedom.

Techno is quick to relent when Phil kicks his jaw, and when Techno backs off, Phil is just cackling, flopping on his back and laying there.

"That's right. Now go make my breakfast."

Techno rolls his eyes, but is already standing up to do just that, "You're lucky I don't hurt the elderly."

"Your lucky I don't take matters into my own hands." Phil snarks.

When Techno flicks his head to stare at Phil, he's already moving away, trudging over to you and settling next to you to strike up conversation.

Good gods.

That old man was sprigh for how old he was.