Scanlan: will you finally go on a date with me?
Pike: sure, why not?
Scanlan: you'll come aro—WAIT. DID YOU SAY YES????
Pike: um...yes?
Scanlan: OMG WAIT HOLD ON BRB *dashes off*
Pike:
Pike: should I leave, or...?
Scanlan, running in dragging Grog behind him: SAY IT AGAIN
~~~~~
Scanlan: could you guys at least try to see from my perspective!?
Vax: *crouches down*
Percy: *kneels down*
Grog: *sits on the floor*
Scanlan:
Scanlan: I hate all of you
~~~~~
Vex: i bet those colors only shrimp can see suck major ass
Keyleth: jealousy isn't the way bro
~~~~~
Scanlan: the fact that I don't have heart shaped pupils is a fucking tragedy
~~~~~
Scanlan: What's the word for horny but not in a sexual way? like I'm horny for halloween but I don't wanna fuck a pumpkin, you feel?
Pike: do...do you mean excited???
~~~~~
Vex: *walks in wearing Percy's shirt*
Percy: stealing from me again, hm?
Vex: what?
Percy: first my heart, then my shirt. What's next, my last name?
Vex: I mean...you did tell my Father that I was your wife...
Vax, just trying to eat breakfast: *chokes*
~~~~~
The party are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff
Pike: For the love of Sarenrae, Scanlan, drive backwards!
Scanlan: Really, Pike? I thought I might drive forwards into the river, i thought that would be a fun thing to do!
(Real question is who let Scanlan drive)
~~~~~
Vex: darling, why are you on fire?
Percy, unfazed: this is just how my day is going
~~~~~
Scanlan: what do you like in bed?
Pike: privacy
(Mood)
~~~~~
Vax: my body is a temple
Vax: I mean, it's a temple from Legend of Zelda so it is bizarre, dangerous, falling apart and controlled by a horrible monster. But that's still a temple
(He's talking about the Raven Queen)
(Also same)
~~~~~
Percy: So... what's going' on?
Scanlan: You want the long version or the short version?
Percy, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?
Scanlan: Shit's fucked.
Percy: Oh. Well, yeah, that's definitely not an optimal situation.
(Context: Percy joined a battle late and Scanlan was the only one close by and conscious)
~~~~~
During Episode 38 (Echoes of the Past)
Scanlan: *goes into his room*
Kaylie, holding a dagger:
~~~~~
Vax: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*
Keyleth: Hey, Vax! How was your day?
Vax: *picks up and onion and bites into it like an apple* hell
Vex, watching this unfold: who hurt you...?
YOU ARE READING
Vox Machina Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionWill have references to both the 1st campaign and the cartoon. There will be some spoilers (tho I do try to avoid it, especially MAJOR spoilers)
