CHAOS: a story about gods and afternoon recess (#ONC2023)

Chapter Six

I spend the remainder of the evening hours acquiring a pair of gym pants, a tee shirt, a hoodie, thick white socks and sneakers. The extreme lengths modern humans go to in clothing themselves seem utterly ridiculous to me. However, the sneakers are a marvel. It's like walking on warm, dry clouds. I perceive that the shopkeeper would like one of the plastic rectangles—this one a precise replica of what the man in front of me used. I give it to her, but after she uses it, she immediately gives it back. "Does it not please you?"

"I mean, it was approved, so you're all set, thanks." She hands me the bag. "Have a great night."

I find a box of books in Matthew's garage and spend the night reading. By sunrise, I have many words and twice as many questions. Mentally filing them away to consider at another time, I leave the house and walk to school. It seems wiser than provoking the ire of the bus driver.

When I approach the school building, I see the guardian standing near the bus drop-off lane. The yellow light of the rising sun glinted in her flaxen hair. Her sapphire eyes sparkled when she looked up. Her smile reveals perfect rows of straight white teeth. Short pants show her shapely legs and her long, smooth arms are bared to the sun.

A lesser creature's courage may have faltered in the face of such perfection. I am not overwhelmed, simply surprised. That's why I stumble over the curb. I hadn't expected to encounter her so early in the day.

To buy a moment to gather my thoughts, I cause a large metal bracket in the street to stand upright. An approaching bus runs over it and the tire pops with a massively loud bang. Children scream and scatter in every direction. The guardian calls out to them not to run toward the street, but one small girl with twin braids hanging over her shoulders dashes straight toward the road. I race to intercept her, yanking her out of the path of an oncoming car at the last second. The car veers hard to the left and crashes into a parked pickup truck. The plastic bumper crumbles and falls to the ground. A monotonous honking begins emanating from the truck.

When I deposit the child in front of the guardian, the woman has one hand pressed to her magnificent bosom.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

She nods, breathlessly. Her pink tongue darts out to moisten her lips and I simply cannot look away. "I can't believe that happened. Thank God you were there to grab her."

"I wouldn't have let anything happen to the children." Chaos can be dangerous, but I understand the limits that should not be crossed.

The guardian runs a hand absently over the girl's plaited hair. "I need to get them inside."

I don't want her to go. Not yet. "I am Zatyafan, the new gym teacher." I long to share with her the true power of my identity, but she is clearly already overwhelmed.

"From the museum."

Glorious day, she remembers me. "Yes, that's right."

"I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

"Shall I remove them?"

Her laugh sounds a bit uncertain. She doesn't directly answer, but says, "Well, welcome to the staff. I hope things aren't so nutty for you all the time. It seems like every time I see you, the whole world is upside down."

"These challenges allow us to evolve. Chaos can improve a person's ability to think on their feet." Not that I'm technically a person, but the principle still applies.

"Right." She takes the girl's hand and puts her other arm around a boy standing nearby. "I'll see you at field day, then?"

Matthew jumps off the bottom step of the bus with the now-flat tire which had finally opened its doors to unload, and trotted over to us. "Hey, Ms. Williams. Hey Zittypoopin."