ChGK in the Prairie

Chapter 3: Post-graduation blues

May 2040. Upon graduating from Tulane with honors, and a BA+MHA, and getting a job at a psychiatric hospital on the Kansas side of the Kansas City, she returns to her family, with her loan balance on hand. I think it's better if I stayed at my parents for a bit, while I get my finances under control. It's not the most crushing debt load in the world but still... I'm grateful for getting a job with a 401k.

And another grim realization that, even with a job she'll start soon, there's something amiss: In my life up to this point, I always had ready access to intellectual peers, if only a handful, which made my social life much more comfortable. In a sense, I am lucky enough to have my professional life in order. Other new grads may not have that chance. However, it was due to happen at some point! And the outside world doesn't seem to value intellect, socially speaking: it appears that intellect is valued mostly in the professional arena. Yet, a person is more than just a professional. Also I can't play quiz bowl as I used to. Graduation was supposed to be a happy moment in a college graduate's life. 5 years of hard work paid off but I know what kind of world I am leaving behind, Patricia ruminates, while she feels the fog forming in her mind. Dazed and confused about what to expect out of life after graduation. And she dreads what comes next.

What taste she does have of the working world, obtained by internships, might be representative of the day-to-day work, but not of what happens in the long run. Patricia's parents come to her and finds her crying in her bedroom:

"What's wrong, honey?" Patricia's mother asks her daughter.

"Now I have the impression that I will be the freaky genius again..." Patricia sobs. "In college, okay, socializing came much more easily than I expect. At work I am not so sure"

"Honey, just focus on doing the best job you can" her mother tells her about her feelings of dread about the future.

"In healthcare administration, what constitutes a good job goes beyond key performance indicators. There's a social aspect to consider, too. How you get along with your colleagues is important. But I have a pretty good idea of what to expect for me to perform best at work"

So I will need to familiarize myself with the IT systems, the bureaucratic procedures, as well as the clinical realities of outpatient mental health services. And, more specifically, addictions. Of course, I also need to familiarize myself with the challenges faced by each stakeholder, Patricia muses about what to expect in the coming weeks at work. It almost feels like I will be learning how to become an addictions counselor on top of the job I am hired for.

"You said freaky genius? Wouldn't that fit the therapists and physicians, too?"

"Not that they aren't smart, I just don't think the same way they do. Might be a blessing in some situations, a curse in others. I have a lot to learn about, IT systems, bureaucracy, provision of mental healthcare services for both patient and provider..." Patricia keeps crying, unsure of what to use as a starting point.

"If only there were more healthcare administrators like you..." Patricia's mother comments while listening to her roadmap.

"If you could please excuse me, I must learn more about what addictions are and a basic overview of how to treat them. And maybe go into the specifics of abusing each drug" Patricia tells her mother before she leaves the scene.

Yet there is so much to learn about addiction and recovery; I'm not sure I picked the right starting point. Let's start with the summary... Patricia then sighs, not in the best of moods to study what addictions are, what causes them, and what happens in and to addicts. I have a vague idea that not knowing, on a medical level, what the patients are in outpatient care for would hurt me in doing what I'm ultimately hired for, and whether I'm doing a good job or not is going to be much fuzzier than even essay writing in college. But there's only so much I can learn about addictions by reading about causes, symptoms, prognosis, treatment, prevention and the like until I shadow the people actually doing these things, at least not in a way that helps me do my job, these thoughts keep preying on Patricia as she learns more about the biological bases of addiction.