Saline Strings

six: trying

September 10th, 2017

Favian walked out of his room at 4:30 AM, trying to be as quiet as humanly possible. He hasn't even slept, staying up to worry way too much throughout the night. 

Conflicting thoughts were the most frustrating thing to him. He couldn't decide if he was more anxious or hopeful about the plans, feeling as if he was trying to put Alpine to a test, by taking him to the cliff and watching his reaction. But it was done. So he couldn't do anything else aside from committing and keeping his emotions at bay the best he could. He wasn't too good at that. 

"Woah! What are you doing, up so early?"

Favian glanced at the person who exited the room on the opposite end of the corridor. His mom was already dressed in a white button up and one of those weird skirts he didn't like, walking out of her bedroom. And there was a crushing disbelief on her face.

"I'm going for a walk. Sunrise and all that. What are you doing so early?"

She was used to him going for walks, even at the most ungodly hours known to mankind. Nodding, she smiled softly.

"I have to be in Portland in around four hours. But better be safe than sorry, so I'm leaving soon."

Ah, so business.

"Portland? On a Sunday?'

"What can I say? But I still have some time, so if you want to, we can drink coffee together!"

It was rare to hear her say the word together. Almost unnatural. Once in a blue moon, she had time to do something with him and was very excited about it.

"Okay."

"Nice! Get dressed, I'll make some."

He entered the bathroom and washed his face, then actually brushed his hair, all tangled and weird from tossing around the bed when it was still wet. After putting on clothes, as in a hoodie and a pair of black jeans, he went downstairs, yawning, then sat down by the table with his mom.

He felt really happy about it, though he didn't want to actually show it too much.

"Here!" His mom placed one of the giant Christmas mugs in front of him. The drink had a very faint vanilla scent. It was surprising to see that she had a ginormous cappuccino as well.

"Don't you usually drink those disgusting black coffees?"

"Yeah, but I can switch it up a little sometimes. The longer we drink, the longer we can just stay like this!"

Favian really appreciated those moments when they could do something together. His mother wasn't bad. He loved her, of course he did. She was just never home, so it was hard to express. Or, well, maintain. She was busy, independent, her schedule was always full. He sometimes wondered what made her decide to have a kid, and what the point of giving birth to him even was.

And it was always just the two of them. His mom talked about how she cut the family off, since they never even wanted her to succeed. If they could, they would've kept her home. Especially once it was apparent that she was pregnant.

Maybe it was luck that they were by themselves. As much as he's heard about his grandparents? They'd hate him. So maybe it was for the better.

"So, anything interesting? Something in school, I don't know...?"

Favian wasn't a big fan of that question. 

Because, what was he even supposed to say? "Oh, people want me to kill myself, not a big deal?" 

"Not really," he shrugged, taking a sip.

"Hm... Do you want me to drop you off somewhere? Near the beach, right?"