SKHOSANE
I have been pacing up and down since Khanyi left. I can imagine what she must be going through right now. I am seated, stuck in my bedroom ashamed to face the world. What a coward I am. I should have stuck and fought by her side. If I was a true man - I would have defiantly fought for our love and not be coward about it. How did I let something this good just slip off my hands. Khanyi loved me when I had nothing. When I was still a garden boy, she was not even ashamed about it. I take a deep breath with a lump circulation down my throat. I am hurt on her behalf. The pain in her eyes is just pushing me off the cliff. She was never meant to find out. Well, she was going to know eventually, but not in that way. I was supposed to protect her and love her at all costs, but I failed. I failed to keep my word and protect her from the pain of this world. My bedroom door cracks open and my father walks in. He is carrying a bottle of Hennessy. Does he really think that alcohol will make me forget?
“Don't be hard on yourself son.”
He says sitting beside me. No one understands the pain I am going through. I learnt to accept Thabi who was shoved right down my throat and now I must bear seeing Khanyi in deep pain all the time. This is not fair on both of us. And now she is dating someone. Someone who is probably using her for his own benefits. I turned to look at my father.
“How do I heal from this? Did you see the pain in her eyes?”
He keeps quiet for a second and doesn’t respond. For a moment I think he saw what I saw. “The girl really loved you with everything in her. But in life you must let go. Son, I once told you this the first time you broke up with that girl. And I will still repeat these words even though they are not exact. Accept what love meant to you. But try to take the opportunity to acknowledge the good things about the relationship, including anything you might have learned from it. Validate those feelings. Give them space in your heart. She will always be your favorite chick.”
Did he just say ‘chick”. I let out a low chuck and shake my head in amusement.
“What? Don’t take me for a ride. I know your style.”
Just as I thought things were going better, it looked like I was lying to myself. My father is seriously taking another route here.
“He remembers himself when he was still young.” I laugh.
“Wish I had everything growing up.”
“But we had livestock that was stolen. Yazi when I think of that my heart just stops beating. I still always ask myself ukuthi who would have such nerves to take our bread right of our mouths.” My father clears his throat. He always shy's away from this topic always. “The time you went to that Sangoma what did he say?” Come to think of it, when he came back from that journey – he locked himself in his room and never spoke to anyone for days. He would cry himself to sleep and my mother was not doing okay as well. I believe he was told something and that something is very huge. It’s been years but my mind and heart still believe he knows who was behind the loss of our income. He later said everything will be out in the open. The ancestors will deal with him. We have been waiting for it since then.
“I think I should go check up on your mother. And another thing. You should talk to this Khanyi girl. Set the record straight and iron things out. You are now her brother-in-law. Take the ‘ex’ title out of that big head of yours.” He taps on my shoulder and walks out. I thought the alcohol was brought for me. Man is stingy. Could he not leave some for me. I believe taking his advice will not do any harm. I will need to sit down with Khanyi and have a word with her. Who knows, maybe our friendship will rock up. Who am I fooling. She hates me, I saw it in her eyes. I need to think this through before I get to make any drastic decisions. Sleeping the stress helps me in a way. Maybe I will wake up the following day feeling a bit better than I am now.
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I woke up this morning feeling a bit better than I was yesterday. The weather is a bit chilly today. Khanyi used to love chilly weather. She believes it made her skin even more soft. I chuck getting off the bed. I open the curtains and indeed it’s drizzling. I need to check up on Thabi. She was not feeling okay yesterday at all. This thing hit her hard. It’s her only sister after all. I grab my phone from underneath the pillow and dial her numbers. It’s taking me straight to voicemail. Maybe I should just go check up on her. I will make breakfast first then take a quick bath.
….
Arriving at her home – I find her parents seated in the seating room. The awkwardness is having me have unanswered questions in me. Was it even a good option coming here? I rub my hands together in respect.
“Did you try calling her on her mobile?” Her mother asks. I sometimes don’t know how this womans mind works honestly. Did she not think that I might have called her, and I was not able to get ahold of her?
“I have been trying to get ahold of her all morning and her phone is taking me straight to voicemail.” I respond.
I hear them sigh. I know where her bedroom is. I stand up and allow my legs to lead the way. I can hear them mumbling and the stares boring my back. I ascend the stairs. Her bedroom door is closed. I knock multiple times. No luck. Something in me tells me that she is inside. I forcefully pushed the door but no luck either. I rush down the stairs and I still find these stupid folks seated.
“When was the last time you saw her?”
“The day of her...” Her father's voice trails off in shock. He stands up and rushes outside. He comes back panting like a dog.
“Her car is here. Which means she is around. Did you check her room.”
“Did you not hear me when I just said her bedroom is locked.” I think there must be some abnormality with these ones.
“Only one way to find out. If we get to break the bedroom door.” I suggest.
Instead of agreeing with me they just keep quiet. I rush up the stairs again.
I used to see it in movies thinking that kicking doors is the easiest part. Little did I know that I might lose my leg in the process. I have been kicking this door for the past minute with no luck. Maybe I should try the window. But it will be pointless cause I will not reach it.
I continue to kick until a typical maximum opening force. A sense of relief. Ngcobo will have to forgive me for breaking down his household. I scan around the room. Her bed is not made. The curtains are not open. No sign of her but the keys are on the inside which means she is here. She would have never used the window to escape – the curtains are still closed. I feel my knees losing strength. I haven't checked the bathroom!
Pushing the door, I get the shock of my life...
THE OTHER BROTHER
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