The Greatest Fear of the Nightmare King

Chapter 22

Damn it. Pitch. He needs to just take a step back and let me breathe. I confide in him and he brings me to Jamie's room, knowing it was the last place I wanted to be. I'm so sick and tired of this.

When Pitch reaches into Jamie's dream right in front of me, giving him a nightmare about none other than myself, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. He's trying to make him believe in the only way he can do it. I get it. I just can't. It's wrong to make someone believe in you using fear. I don't want to be feared, I thought Pitch knew that. "Stop."

The tall shadow that is Pitch barely bothers to look at me, having probably expected me to react in such a way. "It's just a bit of fun. He needs the fear. We all do."

I glare at him with everything I've got. "But he doesn't need to fear me. I'm not you, Pitch. I don't thrive on my friends looking at me like I'm some kind of monster. Leave him alone. Leave me alone." I leave, flying out the window before Pitch can say anything else, keeping myself from looking back. I need to do something. I need to keep my mind off...everything.

-

A monster. So that's how he looks at me. Normally, I would be honored to be thought of as such, but not right now. Jack is one being that I would have see me as I truly am. That monster is just a mask I throw on, now. It is a piece of myself, a persona I'll use when it's necessary. Didn't he know? Of course he didn't know, why would he?

What's wrong with me?

What could have possibly changed so drastically that I would be standing here, not trying to hinder, but to help the Guardians? I don't have to do this. I could refuse to bring balance, I could spit in their faces and allow myself to fade away just to spite them. Moreover, I could do it to spite Jack, but I just- no. I lost my ability to betray him, I don't know how long ago. There was once a time when I could break his staff in two without a second thought, but now my ideas of betrayal seem so distant. Why am I protecting him from the immense fear he could feel if I just allowed the children to lose all belief in him?

At what point did Jack become so important?

He doesn't deserve my help, he doesn't even want it. There's not a single bloody reason for me to do this. Fine. Let the boy throw a fit and run off to sulk, see if I care. I don't care. I really don't. I'll just go about my business, giving nightmares to children and bringing fear back into the world. Stick to what I'm best at.

After Jack left, I did as well. Jack wants the boy left alone and it was no skin off my back to find another kid. Besides, with all the things that have happened to him, he might have nightmares without my help.

My scaring from then on went smoothly, but all it managed to do was to make me suspicious of the ease. Instead of it going slow and steady as I had assumed it would, the children of the world regained their warning sting of fear at a frankly alarming rate. Jack has made himself scarce. So scarce, in fact, that even now, after nearly a week has passed, neither the Guardians nor I have seen him. I can't concentrate, there's too much nervousness clawing at the back of my mind.

I might be more worried than I should be, considering that he's a spirit who runs off all the time for the hell of it, and who can handle himself perfectly well.