The Greatest Fear of the Nightmare King

Chapter 15

"Kozmotis." Jack pushes me away just enough to see my face. "Was that your name when you-....before..?" I nod.

He's staring intently at me, not a trace of fear on him. Normally, I would be bothered by that, wouldn't I? I-...Pitch wanted to see Jack filled with fear, but I'm not him. I don't want Jack to fear me. Not now. There is a time and a place for fear, there must be, but this isn't it. He gathers a breath and his courage before finally speaking again. "So you remember now. Great, awesome. Now that you know your center, you can be the bogeyman again-" Jack moves the covers off himself, standing up to get his staff. "-and the balance of the world will be restored now that fear is fully back in business and everything will be just dandy."

I stare right back at him. I don't know what to do. It isn't that I don't have my powers, but... "I'm not the bogeyman, Jack. I can't be him."

Jack practically freezes in place, confusion and dread settling on his face after a few seconds. "What d'you mean you're 'not the bogeyman'? Of course you're the bogeyman, you have been for thousands of years. Don't play games with me, Pitch." 

I'm not playing games. Pitch was awful. I can't be him anymore, not now that I know who I truly am. Being Kozmotis and having my memories may be painful, but being the bogeyman...scaring children? That's not me. I wouldn't do that. I can't do that. I sit up, rubbing circles in my temples. I have the biggest headache I've ever experienced. "I told you, Jack. I'm not Pitch. I am Kozmotis Pitchiner, Lord High General of the Galaxies, not a monster who visits children at night to scare them out of their wits."

Jack looks devastated. It's hard not to feel guilty in the face of that 'kicked puppy' expression he's wearing. "I'm sorry, Jack. I wish I could help, but I can't."

His eyes widen like he's surprised that I'm apologizing. I suppose it must be unsettling to hear something like that from someone he thinks of as Pitch Black. The disconnect in personalities has to be at least a bit disturbing, even if he hated who I was when I was Pitch.

He sets his staff back down, obviously having given up the idea of flying off. He's calmed down into a quiet disappointed state, but he's going to keep trying. This is the only angle on the kids' situation he has right now. "You still look like Pitch. Your skin is grey, unlike how I saw you in the prison."

That presence. "The dark doorway. That was you watching me. It's rude to peep into other people's private dreams, you know. It's very personal."

He shrugged. I suppose it would be too much to ask him to have better manners, considering that he's perpetually stuck in his teenage years. I used to think him a brat for his overly casual attitude- no- Pitch did. Then again, I was Pitch. I shouldn't deny that, I would only be lying to myself.

 "Hey, it's not like there was anything better to do. I was done, there was nothing left for me to see." He hops himself back onto the end of the bed, kneeling so he could face me, eyeing me suspiciously. "So, you're not Pitch. But...you remember who I am, right? You said my name, so, you must know who I am, right?"

"Of course I know you. I remember our time together very clearly. I may not be Pitch, but I haven't forgotten a single second of being him."

I don't know why exactly, but I suddenly recall the time that Jack took me tothat haunted house. It wasn't like I had never been to one before, but this time was very different. The entire experience was just so unique to Pitch..to me. Every time I went to a haunted house, it was filled with fear, as it should be, but when Jack was there, it was fun fear. It wasn't just that blank terror that makes the kids never want to go to a haunted house again, it was the fear that keeps them coming back to be scared again. It made me realize that fear doesn't have to be hated. "I wanted to thank you, Jack. I didn't because I was Pitch and my pride was in the way."

-

I cannot explain just how uncomfortable it is to, for one, wake up in the same bed as the bogeyman, two, comfort the bogeyman when he wakes up crying, and three, have him actually thank me out of nowhere. I've had some weird stuff happen, but this is just really really unsettling. Even this guys facial expressions look different. He's still pretty stiff and formal, but it's like he's all soft and gentle and he gives a really nice hug, even if he was crying at the time. I could get used to hugs like that, minus the tears.

And that's it for the awkward things to think about the spirit that tried to take over the world. You can all go home now, folks.

"Thank me for what?"

"You showed Pitch-" He clears his throat. "You showed me that fear does have a place in a world filled with light. I will try to be the bogeyman for you, Jack. And for the children. I just won't make any promises as to how well it will work. I don't have the same darkness in me that Pitch did." 

He stands up, running his fingers through his hair to keep it back. "However, I would appreciate it if I could be left alone for a few hours. I have some things I would prefer to think about on my own."

"What things? See, I don't know if you caught on, but Pitch and I are best buds nowadays. We don't keep secrets."

"Personal things." He walks into the darkest corner of the room, like it isn't hard enough to see him as it is. I get up to follow him over there and grab hold of his arm, not wanting him to disappear into the darkness without properly answering me. I don't want to say I'm worried about him. How can I? I hardly know Kozmotis, but...he's still sort of Pitch, and I know for a fact that I care. I can't figure out what to say, so I end up just kind of staring at him. As if that would help.

But it does help. Kozmotis sighs like he's trying not to give in to a plea I never made in the first place. "Please. I'm sure the Guardians would like to hear about the recent developments, you can explain to them what's happened."Does he really think saying please is going to shake m-

He's kissing me.

Honestly, I have no idea how to react to something like this. It's just not something I expected to be happening. I close my eyes. Should I kiss back? Oh, it's over. That's good. I don't really know what I would've done if he kept going. I open my eyes to look at Koz. He looks really tired. Well, he did just wake up, but not that kind of tired. Emotionally tired. "I beg of you."

The kind of tired that you feel when you're close to giving up. If he needs time alone, there's no harm in leaving for a while. I can pry later.

"Okay."

I let go of his arm, and with a whispered "Thank you." in reply, Koz slips into the shadows.