Shadow of the Heir

Maybe I'm too Busy Being Yours to Fall for Somebody New

Ella wasn't sure what caused her to come to the belief that saving Sebastian had been something Ominis did to help her. He was Ominis's friend long before he was hers. She'd somehow deluded herself into thinking he'd been trying to help her just as much as Sebastian. That he cared about her sanity just as much as Sebastian's, and that their plan was truly the only way. That being said, Ominis had never been cruel. That night in the Undercroft, when he'd proposed this deal the first time, he'd been gentle. He'd been firm, but it was still temperate and soft. He'd seemed so concerned about her when she sobbed and begged and screamed. Ominis had patted her hair down when she sat on the cold floor and cried, and his voice had been careful when he'd told her to go live her life like she'd never met Sebastian. When he'd told her she was strong and she could do it.

She knew she'd been collateral damage, but she'd never considered herself expendable.

She'd never realized Ominis considered her expendable.

Ella understood it in the logical part of her mind—she completely understood it. Just as Generals knew in wars, sometimes the most correct move still came with casualties. There wasn't a better action for Ominis with the information he had at hand. Ella had been a bad influence. Sebastian's fall didn't start until he'd met her. She had made excuses for him and she had helped him get his hands on continuously more dangerous things until it nearly swallowed him whole. Despite the fact that Anne was dying and Ella would have done the same for her own family, it was in the grey area of the moral compass. Even knowing all that, Ominis sat beside her on the floor of Solomon's home after she told Sebastian he was a murderer, and he'd cried and apologized. He'd rubbed her hands when she hyperventilated so violently that her digits curled up and her vision blackened from lack of oxygen. It had eaten him alive to force her to do what she did.

Ella didn't realize how deep his words cut until she heard the pit-a-pat of her own tears falling against the fabric of her blouse.

Because the part of her mind that wasn't purely logic-driven recognized in that second that she wasn't truly Ominis's friend. Sebastian was his friend and his priority and damned be all that wasn't he or Anne. She was the only one who'd lost Sebastian. Suddenly, the bristling and awkward sidestepping of every question she asked about their mended relationships made sense. It had only been her kicked out of the group. And she'd only been invited back because Sebastian wanted her to be.

All this time, she'd thought they were keeping Sebastian in the dark about the vow, and in reality she was the one in the dark.

Anne's fingers tightened around hers again. Ella doubted Anne had supported the plan. She'd said in her letters that she didn't think Ella at fault. She had wanted her to know what Ominis tried to dance around at every turn. That's why she'd arranged this and scolded Sebastian when he tried to send her away. Damn the Sallow twins and their affinity to plan so far beyond her own abilities.

Ella straightened up in an attempt to fold her emotions away. File them like the paperwork her Father spent so much time with in his study.

"You lied to me every. fucking. night." Sebastian's words were so punctuated that it felt like a physical blow hanging in the air. "How many months did it take me to sleep again, Ominis?"

Ominis didn't look like he wanted to answer anymore. Even through her teary eyes, Ella could see how quickly his chest rose and fell.

"How many nights—" It sounded like Sebastian choked on his own words and he shook his head harshly. Brown hair scattered with the motion. "You were my brother."

"I know." She hated how small Ominis's voice sounded. Like a hurt child. Like he'd sounded in the scriptorium.

Ella just wanted to go hug him despite it all, and she glanced at Anne hoping the woman felt the same. The brunette's head hung low. Her hair covered most of her face, but Ella could see the wet streaks down the cheek that was exposed from her pinned-back hair.