10. ✭my body tries to cry✭

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Modern Soundtrack: This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory☼

~

His Auburn eyes pierced my brain - more so lacerated - a potent and quite overwhelming power. But, I woke up and he wasn't there. I pushed myself into a sweat and wiped my forehead. I looked around the dorm. I was alone.

In Herbology class, I looked over at Sebastian. He was rather focused on his assignment, but I couldn't help but stare. He encompassed a certain sadness to him - one no one could explain in terms.

"Mr. Sallow, would you please aid Miss Lovegood? She seems as if she needs help on her assignment," Professor Garlicks words were soft and light, but hit me with a sharp sting. The class let out laughs as I shyly glanced at Sebastian, who shot me a gentle smile.

He walked up to me and I choked up. I was never like this, especially around him. I was falling to pieces.

"Cel needing my help? I thought you had superb grades?" he joked and I rolled my eyes.

"You know I do not. But, what's great is now I need two incompetent tutors. Just lovely," I retorted.

"Well, Professor Garlick insisted. If it were my doing, I would've left you be. I believe one works best on their lonesome," he explained as I watched him talk. I adored his mannerisms, the way he smiled, and his quick wit. However, there was something below the surface that was so tantalizing. Perhaps it was the fact that he was in my dream last night.

I missed the way he looked at me, the way he smiled at my naivety, the way he snuck me into his dorm, and showcased me as his most prized possession. But, most of all, I missed the way we were. It's almost as if we were practically strangers.

"I miss you," I muttered into his ear. I mentally slapped myself. How could I? He looked at me, his eyes darting to my persistent lip-biting - to the point where it started to bleed.

"You're bleeding, here," he said as he wiped my lip with the cuff of his Slytherin robe.

"Thank you," I felt myself blush and my breath hitch. The closeness between us felt so striking.

"You must refrain from doing that," he chuckled - as if he could get a kick out of it.

"How could I?" I asked and we locked eye contact.

"Class dismissed!"

After class, we walked out together. But, then he began to part ways. I put my hand on his chest to block him.

"Sebastian," I practically mumbled. "What happened between us? It was so electric. As if we drank some Amortentia potion." He looked down at the ground.

"Nothing good lasts," He sighed. "I wish there was a way to live forever with her... to make up the time lost."

"Is it your sister? Did something happen? I told you I would help you find a cure." He shook his head.

"She is slowly deteriorating from the inside out. My uncle asserts that it is an inevitable process and that I must sit here and do nothing... but, I can't!" He began to raise his voice. "I can't..."

"I know, I promise you. Let me help you. Don't push me away!"

"I had to. I had to push everyone away. The inherent loneliness is positively overwhelming. Even Ominis and I are barely talking. We haven't spoken a word to each other in weeks since we went to the scriptorium."

"Let's talk in the undercroft, where we can be alone."

____

Once there, I grabbed him by his green collar - the way he used to grab me and subsequently pull me into a lingering kiss. Except, I did the same exact thing, I pushed him with all of my force to the nearest pillar and kissed him.

He stood there in shock. He didn't know what to do with his arms, so I picked them up and put them on my waist.

That is when he realized that I was right there. I want him and he wants me. There should be nothing between us other than love.

"Darling, you're glowing," he mumbled through slobbery kisses. I smiled and he brought me into a tight embrace.

"It's what you do to me."

"What I do to you? Look at what you do to me..." he trailed off as he pushed my hand down to his trousers. He was evidently hard, but I couldn't initiate. We couldn't do it here, now.

"Not now, Sebastian. I... I've got to get to Beasts class," I chuckled as he began to comb a hair out of my face with his trembling hands.

"Of course, another time, then?" I nodded as I began to walk to the exit gate.

"Your beauty is positively spellbinding. It's as if I'm falling for you, Cel. You've enchanted me. You've bewitched me. I cannot breathe air that is not of you. I will not dream unless it is of you..." he looked up at me in a child-like manner. He had this boyish charm to him that I adored.

"Sebastian..."

"Have you cursed me? Have you instilled a love witch to bind me to your every action? I feel intertwined with you to a point of no return."

I cupped my hand around his cheek, watching as his freckles crinkled in his nose as he sighed.

"If you're ever lonely, come be lonely with me."

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