dinner talk for fools 1995

¹

i'm sorry. i didn't know.

what are you sorry for?

your parents.

well what about them?

the divorce.

divorce isn't all that bad.

it's a rift between hearts. it hurts people. i mean, it hurted you didn't it? it's why you threw a chair on mrs bonnet in latin class, yes?

uh first of all, no. second of all, i was going to but then i thought to myself oh dear! she is huge, what's a chair gonna do to her? and thirdly, she wouldn't give me a raise of zero point five on my paper.

you're more pissed at the marking system than your parents' seperation, is that what you are saying?

she could have just rounded it up! nobody would know!

um.
you aren't even a teensy bit concerned about.. your family.

i was, i really was.
but then the divorce came through.
major, major relief.

have you gone mad?

no. i would have had they decided to try again, but thankfully no.

i'm sorry i got you raisin bread then, because clearly you're the least bothered person in the room.

come on now, don't be hard on me. you know you can't take this back to your mother. what's she gonna think?

you weasel—

yeah but that's not the point. so why don't you give it to me? i'd do you one better.

it's for your mom and dad.

we will split it!

was for your mom and dad.

that's my-

forty-sixty ratio.

ha!

or i invite your cousin to this.

you've got it, you've got it. you're wicked.

look who's talking.

divorce isn't the end of the world, you know.

might as well be.

it could have been worse.

one of them could have been died.
and the other could have been the killer.

you're exaggerating.

where do you think i get the violent streak from?

your father's a saint so.

you're right.
saints do say the meanest things sometimes.

pardon?

stuff your face.

hey now! that's not very nice.

fine i apologise.
thank your mom for me will you?

that's more like it.

tell her i'm lonely and would appreciate more of her pity goods.

what's that now?

her generosity, my lord.

well. you can come and play this saturday. she's making key lime pie.

yum! can't. i'm at my dad's.

he has a house already? wow.

nope. he'd rather spite my mother than admit he's homeless.

that's not very saintly.

no it is not.

they should be seperated.

the law says they are.

~