Faded Pink (gxg)

Twenty-Nine

Several hours later, I can't stop looking at my phone. Every few minutes I find myself glancing over at it. I even go as far as tapping the screen to make sure I haven't missed a notification. I can't even focus on the episode of Master Chef that's playing on the T.V. Sawyer is paying closer attention to the show than I am.

What the hell am I doing?

I exhale sharply through my nose and turn my phone over.

This isn't happening. I'm not going back down that road. I can't.

I pull my knees up to my chest and attempt to focus on the show. Sawyer lounges next to me on the couch, his legs stretched out to the coffee table. He drums his fingers against his stomach, clearly bored with the episode. But true to his word, he's watching without complaint.

My phone vibrates next to me and I scramble to grab it. I unlock the screen and search for the notification. Just an email. I sigh.

"Is it just me or are you a bit distracted?" Sawyer speaks.

I lift my eyes to him. "It's nothing," I drop my phone onto the table.

He shrugs one shoulder and looks back to the T.V. I silently curse myself for acting like an idiot. I've never been the type of girl who sits and waits by the phone for someone to call. If anything, I've always been the girl that other people wait for. Not because I'm irresistible – I'm the furthest thing from that – but because I'm not confident enough in myself to believe anyone would want me. So, I just avoid the interaction altogether.

My eyes can't stay focused on the television. They keep tracking my phone on the table. As if it knows I'm watching, it vibrates again. My muscles tense in anticipation of reaching for it but I don't move.

I'm not desperate.

Sawyer shifts next to me, pulling my eyes from the phone. He turns onto his side, his eyes closed. A soft snore escapes from his lips. The remote is still clasped in his hand.

I smile at my little brother. I've never told him but I'm grateful for our relationship. We've always gotten along extremely well. Sure, we have our typical brother-sister spats but nothing serious. We always have each other's backs.

And even though he fell asleep during Master Chef, I still have to give him credit for making it through a few episodes. That's something you can always count on with Sawyer – he always keeps a promise.

I take this opportunity to grab my phone. I tap the screen, lighting up the background. The photo I have of Max takes up most of the screen but a single notification sits at the bottom. It's a text from a number I don't have saved. My heart stops for a beat.

I tap the notification and my phone unlocks, bringing me to my messages. The message thread opens with a single text.

Hey stranger. It was nice to see you today.

I stare at the text, a lump forming in my throat. I open the keyboard, knowing well that I shouldn't be doing this. I type a short reply, hoping that she won't pursue the conversation.

You too.

I go to close the messages when her chat bubble pops up. The three dots keep me waiting, my chest getting tighter as the seconds tick by. The bubble disappears but no message comes. I feel a mixture of relief and disappointment.

My phone buzzes once with her incoming message.

I was serious earlier, by the way. We should catch up. I'm sure there's a lot to discuss. And if there's not, we'll find something.