Faded Pink (gxg)

Eleven

I'm awake by 6:15 the next morning. Anxiety about the next 48 hours poked at my unconsciousness all night, causing me to toss and turn under my blankets. Rather than fight it, I decided to get out of bed and pack. By the time I make it downstairs, everyone else is awake and sitting at the kitchen table.

"Morning," I say to no one in particular.

Sawyer shoots me a look of caution and I pause.

"What's wrong?"

Mom sighs heavily, rising from the table to refill her coffee. "Your father chose to wait until the last minute to book us a hotel."

I glance at Dad who calmly sips his tea and reads the newspaper.

"Okay?"

"It'll be fine, Danielle," Dad assures.

"Fine," Mom mocks his word. "Fine would've been staying in Georgetown, you know, where the college is. But instead, you waited until the last minute and now we're stuck in Capitol Hill."

"It's only twenty minutes away and it's right near the National Mall," Dad says calmly. "Which is perfect for Avery and me since we want to see the museums while you and Sawyer tour the campus."

"I planned for us to do everything together," Mom says the last word like she's scolding a child.

"Mom," Sawyer says with a mouthful of cereal. "I've already seen it a dozen times. Do we really need to do this? Can't we just go to the exhibits?"

Mom exhales in frustration. "Yes, Sawyer. I want Avery to see the campus and what it has to offer."

"I'll Google it."

Her icy blue eyes slide in my direction. I avoid her stare and fill a mug with coffee, retreating to the table to sit next to Dad. He lightly pushes his plate of clementine slices toward me. I reluctantly take one and pop it onto my mouth. The explosion of citrus coats my tongue and makes my cheeks tingle.

"It might give you some inspiration." Mom continues. "You never know."

I swallow, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. "I've already told you, Mom. I don't want to go to college until I know what I want to do with myself."

"You've had plenty of time to figure that out."

I can't hold back my eye roll this time.

"How can you expect an eighteen-year-old to make a decision that affects their entire life and future? Why do I even need to choose just one thing? Maybe I want to have dozens of jobs throughout my life. Maybe I just want to travel and have a side hobby that makes me money. Try a little bit of this, or a little bit of that before I get too old to do anything."

"Do you even plan on making it that far?"

Sawyer's spoon clatters in his bowl. Dad folds down the top of the newspaper to gawk at my mother, who casually sips her coffee.

"What the fuck, Mom." Sawyer shakes his head in disbelief.

Mom's face is expressionless. She shrugs one shoulder. "I'm just asking. You've spent the past four years in and out of that clinic. You've wasted hundreds of opportunities to make something of yourself."

"Danielle," Dad warns.

Mom gestures to Sawyer. "Your brother is a star student and athlete. He was raised in the same house as you, yet he seems just fine."

"Mom," Sawyer stresses the word. His eyes flash to me, worry filling them.

I dig my nails into my palms and fight back the tears that well in my eyes. My throat tightens.