The diary of an African man

CHAPTER 17

I ignored three of Zama's calls and six of Mandisa's messages. Mseki  was still sending apologies and the twins had joined too. So far my day was going horribly wrong. I spoke to no one and I guess they understood that I wasn't in the best of moods.

I was driving back home with sjava buzzing in the background. When I arrived home I was enveloped with complete silence. Not the good kind the feel serene, no, the kind that reminds you of how alone you actually are without your siblings blasting hip hop across the whole house and sizzling whatever they found on the fridge. The guilt was eating me up but my pride was stronger.

I took a deep breathe and started cooking. I don't know who I was cooking for since I hardly ate for supper although I knew one thing for sure. The food I was making could fit a crowd, five people at most.

When I was done I went to take a shower, got dressed and took my car keys. I drove out of my house, drove in again, drove out again, got out for some fresh air until the war in my mind settled.

Listen to your instinct.

I walked back to my car and started the ignition. I stopped at a familiar apartment complex and walked to a too familiar doorstep that gets my hands a bit sweaty. I knocked three times until the door flew open.

"Nkosana" she said to herself more than I. There was something embedded in the way she said my name. "sawubona" she said said the eyes eyes glued on my lips.

"Sawubona sthandwa sami." I planted a kiss on her forehead and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Did you miss me?" I asked playfully and she wiggled out of my arms with a small giggle.

She ignored my question and chose to change the subject instead. "You actually came at the right time, I was about to dish up for myself."

"About that, I didn't come here for dinner. I actually came here to fetch you." She gave me a quizzical look and so I elaborated "no need to change, just pack the food in lunch boxes and we'll leave with it." Or instructed rather.

She gave me a simple nod and disappeared into the kitchen. I went to her room and stuffed her work clothes, undergarments and smaller necessities such as toothbrush and so on into a random hello kitty mini bag.

I sneaked out of the apartment and hid the small bag in the boot. I went back and found her washing the pots that she had cooked the food with. When she was done we left.

Zama did not ask of where we were going she was just simply confused. She said nothing throughout the whole car ride and it was honestly starting to scare me. I parked the car in the garage and helped her out. She carried both her handbag and lunch bag. I offered to help her carry the lunch and she bluntly refused and her reason was that if I was kidnapping her she at least wanted to die with food. I wanted to just roll my eyes at that statement.

I showed her around the house. The way her eyes wondered to every corner of the house amused me, like she was doing her best to memorise as much as she could.

"So what am I actually doing here if you're not planning to kidnap me since you want me all to yourself."

"Have dinner with me." I wanted it to be a question more than a command but I have never been one to plead for things. Especially eating dinner with someone.

Her face immediately brightened up and she nodded with a bit of a blush on her face.  I forced her to sit down while I fixed food for ourselves in the meanwhile I had given her a bowl to wash her hands (no, I did not kneel) and orange juice.

I placed our food on the dining table and Zama dug in immediately. She moaned with every spoon she took.

"You made this?" She referred to the half eat phuthu on her plate and I nodded in response "and this?" She referred to the chicken curry with much more disbelief and I just chuckled at her dramatics.

She finished her food and refilled her orange juice twice. "Where did you buy this." She asked with pure disbelief "it is so good." She added.

"I made it myself actually." I said with a stupid grin plastered on my face.

"So who do you live with in this big nine room house of yours?"

"It isn't that big actually, I mostly live alone but my siblings visit almost every week. Mostly to steal my food and spring clean for money." I said while packing the dishes together and she just breaks into a fit of laughter.

"You're so cruel, I did that to my brothers all the time. Give the children a break." She defended.
"This is their way of showing love." She reasoned.

She helped me pack up and start washing the dishes. I went to out but promised to come back in no time. I took her mini bag from my car out and put it in my room. I went to the kitchen and found her humming some unknown song while she washed dishes.

I walked over to her and turned her around. I looked directly into her eyes but her eyes were only on my lips. It's a thing I've gotten used to. She barely looked at me in the eye so she settled for my lips instead. She grabbed a dish cloth from the counter and dried her hands.

"Yesterday you said you love me." She  mentioned.6

Wow. Straight to the point I see.

"And I wasn't lying."

I don't know why I said that but somewhere somehow I knew I was telling her the truth. She said nothing afterwards save for the small 'oh' she whispered to herself. I lifted her chin up so she could finally look into my eyes.

"What?" I questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Nothing." She exhaled.

"I love you." I declared.

"I love you too." She mumbled while her eyes tore away from my lips and focused on her feet instead. Goodness she was one shy woman.

I lifted her chin up again and placed both my hands on both her cheeks to ensure that she doesn't move.

"Uthini?" (What are you saying?)

"I love you Nkosana." She said with much more conviction while looking directly into my eyes.

In a spur of a moment my lips were connected to hers and I gently nibbled on her lower lip. She gasped in surprised and I took that as an opportunity to explore her. She was inexperienced but I was ready to teach her anything and everything. I was gentle and slow, I didn't want to rush her. I wanted everything to be at her own pace. I slowly pulled away from her and immediately hid her face in my chest. I let out a small chuckled and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Let's get you your beauty sleep. I don't want you looking hideous tomorrow." And I earned a small slap on my chest.

I took Zama to her room which was the guest room. I kissed her goodnight and let her sleep. I went back to the kitchen and finished cleaning everything.

To be honest, I didn't know what I was doing and I didn't know the how far deep into this I was stuffing myself. I was simply following my instincts and I was hoping I don't regret it.

As soon as sleep took over my eyes, I was disturbed by the vibration on my phone. I swore to deduct money from my siblings' allowance for disturbing my sleep. I checked who it was and was met by the most horrifying message.

Change if plans. I will kill Mseki.